An evening with the Beer

Warning 1:

The readers of this blog should be 18 years and above. If you dont suffice this criteria, I suggest you to stop reading right now and close this window.

Warning 2:
Drinking of alcohol brings sudden rush of blood flowing into ur head which sometimes becomes out of control. So be careful when u do it and do it at your own risk. Parental guidance strongly recommended.

Okay, for quite a days i have been freaking obsessed with beers and its not just one variety, I have tried almost all of them available on this earth. The weather is getting colder day by day in Waterloo and nobody can survive it unless he takes something hard. As i have quit vodkas and rum (when i say quit, i mean i take them occasionally in parties and thats it, nowhere else), beers are the only form of liquid remaining to stick to. I know its a pathetic condition but its better to have something than nothing.

Well, here is the deal. When you are out of touch from all sorts of hard drinks and you grab yourself a 6 beer crate from the nearest store, I can hardly imagine how one would be going for it.

• Option 1: As soon as you park your car in the parking spot, you dont even care how you parked it, you rush to your room, slam the door side open and jump onto the couch, get hold of the TV remote, put on some good rock music channel and even then amidst the noise of the music on TV you are able to hear the sound of the top flip ripping out of one of the beer cans. Aaaw man!! u feel as if u are on cloud nine

• Option 2: You park your car very cautiously as if you gonna get a ticket if you dont put it in the right spot, u stroll hazily with the beer crate towards ur room, when u are at the doors, you suddenly remember that u have forgotten the keys at the office desk, you head back to the office when everybody has left to their sweet homes, when you are at ur desk u just get tempted to open up ur computer and check few official mails, as soon as u do that u realize that u are pretty fucked up and u got all sorts of crazy works pending, u keep ur hands off the crate of beers and there u go working till late night, you come back home again with a lazy and tired walk, open up the doors and directly hit the cozy bed and when u wake up in the morning, u realize O'holy fuck, i left the beers at the office..shit man!! m screwed.

I guess nobody wants to get into the 2nd situation. So, as soon as u park the car, be pretty much sure to rush into the couch.

Anyways, there was a time and it doesnt date too back, when i considered beer to be a form of Horse urine. I mean it smelled like that and it tasted too. Well, ask any of the first time drinkers and they would have the same opinion. But then, somebody said correctly, when you are damn thirsty even hot coffee gives u the same sensation as if u are gulping down some freezing iced water. Another reason to take the side of beer would be that I have heard it helps u gain some weight.

So, yesterday night I cannot even believe that i could possibly have taken the entire 6 cans all of my own which i get to know in the morning when i see the empty cans lying here and there around the couch. Wow!!! I knew my strength and it was hardly half a bottle of mild beer in india. Dont know how come that capacity increased all of a sudden without even an occurrence of surprise pukes. That felt good after a long time.

But most important thing that i noticed in the morning with all senses intact is two of the cans were not in the round shape at all. They were twisted, squeezed and the top portion freaking ripped apart. O'boy, Can somebody be so much desperate in not even leaving the last few drops in the cans? I still wonder whose spirits got inside of me yesterday !! Still a question

Brains of a species called Human Being !!

This might seem a little bit weird. But as you can well figure out I dont have anything important to do at home except surfing the internet, I came across this piece of image which brought a little smile to my face. To be precise, let me just jot down the major important differences between a male and a woman brain:

1. Look at the listening particle in male brain which occupies a lot of space in that of a woman. This is not that much true as far as i have seen both the parties. Seen many men who just listen to their woman and keep doing it for the rest of their life, can do anything even before their woman asks them to do, can miss an exciting cricket game if their woman wants them to switch the channel to a freaking daily soap opera.
2. Can you notice the two areas of Beer in the male's brain. I think that should have been increased to 7 small sections spread all over the space. And this is a normal trend for the whole week in a man's life.
3. When there is a talk over telephone between man-to-man, the duration does not exceed 8 min maximum with an average rate of 4 mins. There will be a hi-work-bye kind of communication. But when it comes to woman, goes 10 min, pasts 30 mins, gets over 1 hours but after that women are like warming up. Nobody has got any idea why they talk so much when its woman-to-woman. If there would have been a talk between opposite genders then the things would probably seem pretty straight and clear. But woman-to-woman that too for more than 1 hr sounds not-very-straight!! There is acutally a different name coined for this kind of behavior...he hehe... God knows what they talk about!!
4. One cannot find a shopping spot in male's brain because they hardly put their mind into shopping. Its like just passing by one of the beer bars and if there happens to be a shopping center, they just stop by and buy the things that their eyes see the very first moment they enter the mall. While in the case of women, 6 hours of walk in the entire mall, turning each and every single piece of item upside down, having ice cream breaks in between just to keep the tempo high, one ends up with only a single piece of red top. What the hell!!! So much of pain for a single 14$ top. Had men been given the chance, they would have bought the same red top for the woman within 4 mins - 1 min to get in the shop, one to select the top, two to get the bill paid and one last min to get out of the store.
5. Finally, the major difference that occupies the centres of the brain. Male has got more than 60% of their brain occupied by the strong desire for sex and look at the same area in women's brain - commitment which as a matter of fact doesnt at all exists in male brain. God has done a major mistake while putting up things in brains and this is the one area where he failed. Its not at all compatible. Thats why i guess males have accepted this fact and try to get into woman's commitment zone and then try to explore into the tiny spot of sex in woman's mind. Its difficult though to find little spot among all the other big areas but still then people have been successful in their earlier days of datings which apparently dies down as times passes because the Jealosy part in woman's brain takes up all the remaining space eventually. Oh gosh!! This is damn difficult to explain actually

Anyway, i dont wanna be a bad guy so i am stopping myself here. I guess all others conclusions can be easily drawn hereafter. he hehe

Love Everybody - Period !!

The very first thing that is taught in any school or college is to "love every human being". And as time passes by, humans are so very much attached with this word "love" that they start using it in each and every moment. No wonder when it comes to friends and near and dears, this makes sense. But i got this very interesting caution signboard somewhere in the internet and the most funnier part is that the website is dedicated to bring peace and harmony to this this world. I was not able to comprehend how to fix an equation between the name of the website and the message conveyed by this signboard. Maybe they wanted to say, love your enemies so much that destroy their existence from the world so that you can love everyone again. Quite crazy!!!

How are Rose and Love related !!

Ever wondered why the rose is considered as the most important aspect in the life of lovers? Well as of me, I never thought about it before and I would certainly not like to ponder on the reasons behind it. There are certain things that have been carried forward from generations and we accept them without even questioning. Its like why you wanna take a bath everyday, why people wear clothes (if they wouldnt have from the beginning, all you can see now is naked people all around you and you being one of them), why you get to sleep only in the night and work during the day and why isnt it the other way round, etcetera....There are a hell lots of questions like these but nobody even cared to think about them for a moment. So why should I be wasting my fucking time on it. Well, now that i dont have anything better to do at home, I wont mind thinking about these questions for a moment and come up with some valid and interesting answers.

Question:
So the first question is why rose is a symbol of love? Why only this flower, why not a lily or tulip or the freaking spider orchid? or why a flower at all? why not a common thing like pen or a shoe?

Answer:
I did some research on it which apparently is a wikipedia search and lots of reading, i ended up in a pretty funny answer. If you play around the word rose and jumble its letter up a little bit, you will get a name called "Eros". What is it then?? Its the name of the god of lust, love and intercourse. Wow!!! that was something i didnt know before. All i knew was the god of lust and intercourse was Kamadev. O'boy i was so wrong till now and nobody corrected me. Strange!!! Now i really need to brush up my knowledge on this.
Anyways, the apart from the resemblance with the god of love, the color of rose depicts something else. As this color is no other than the color of blood, I can well co-relate why is it so. Heard about romeo-juliet, heer-ranjha, laila-majnu, bla and bla? What happened to them and to their so famous love stories? One of them has always died. Yes, and thats the click. The color of rose demands blood in all these stories and one of the lovers has always to sacrifice for it. Thats kind of freaky!!!
What about the petals on the rose? You can see many of them and all entangled. Thats what it is all about. It makes life confusing and more difficult to deal with. Just have a look at lily or orchid, they have got so simple arrangement of petals and yet they look so beautiful. You know what i mean, dont you?
Last but not the least, its the most easily available piece of flower in market and is available every day in a year. Any goddamn person can fetch it anytime whenever they want it. Its not that you have to wait for a whole season just to give your beloved a flower that is a symbol of love. And this reason i think is the best and the valid one that i can think of. Nothing can surpass this.

Are you in Love???

Now let me start writing some blogs regarding romance.

There is a very distinct line between "love at first sight" and "lust at first sight" which is otherwise called infatuation. Somewhere i read a quote that "infatuation is a love of emotion and real love is the love of devotion." And seriously speaking i have no idea what it means. Anyway, the thing is many think that they are in love the very first meeting they have with the opposite sex. Even i was doing the same a few months back. But these people will find that they are falling in love every now and then. Be it a mall and a hot lady passes by you and you go like "O'man!! I have fallen for that lady' but thats it. End of the story. Or you might go to a dinner or coffee with someone just because you work together and you prepare yourself all throughout the day for the dialogues that you gonna frame, the topics you gonna talk about, the dish you want to order and at the end of the day, you might say to your friend "I think I am in love". Come on, you have just missed a word in the statement which would make all your emotions look differently. You should have said "I think I am in love.......again". Give me a break, its not at all giving a single hint of love.

You might want to consider your first meeting to be a love at the first sight if one of the following three things happen:

1. Accept the fact that you have arranged the very first meeting with her only because you like her physical attributes. There is nothing to be ashamed of in it. Thats totally natural and thats what is visible to the bare eyes. Afterall there is no other way to look inside somebody. But you wanna consider that you are in love if you are taking things slowly in the first meeting, your eyes are exploring her eyes for the entire time, you dont go by your prepared dialogues and everything comes to your mouth automatically, you try to put yourself up as you are and if you are true to yourself.
2. What most of the people do in a date is blabber about themselves so as to let the lady know how good you are from all the man that are after her. This is not love. Its like u just want to get in, have an affair in ur database and get out. But if you are diverting all the talks towards her and show enthusiasm to know everything about her that common people would not be knowing at all, O'boy! you are really into it.
3. Last thing that will happen to you is that you start having mushy feeling inside of you. I guess thats what people call "dil mein hulchul hi ho rahi hai". You cant stop thinking about her all the time.

There you go, you are certainly in love if any of the above starts happening in your life. Just watch out!!!

Old Gang from Escorts

This is a picture that was very close to my heart because it reminds me of lots of mistakes that i have done in understanding people. It dates back to the days when i used to be in Escorts, faridabad. It used to be glued just besides my computer in the office right in front of my face.

These are the friends that i made the very first day i joined a company, the first step in market. And i must say i am quite happy to make such lovely friends.

• Ravi Gawhade: The left most guy in sky blue. The hilarious of all of us. He can make out a comment of any statement that u make. So spontaneous that we used to call him "kya kha ke paida hua hai tu?". He has got a natural sense of humour thats quite uncommon. Now he has got married recently and it was most unfortunate for me that i was not able to attend it. I felt so sorry for that. He is the 2nd one of us to shift his job to Mahindra, mumbai. We had a good time for almost 1 and half years
• Tushar: Dont even remember his last name anymore. This guy is a dickhead. Although he got a masters from IIT-B but still then his mind up there is totally empty. He wasnt sure aobut what to do with his life. What to do with the skills he has. And most importantly he was a big liar. Can able to disguise things with the way he puts things up. For quite some time in the begining, i was not sure that he did his engg from iit because ppl passing out of these insitutes are quite rough and tough in the way they behave and in the way they take things up. I couldnt believe he took eveything seriously when i addressed him with hindi version of "motherfucker". that was ultimate scene. He was like literally coming on to me to kill me. But they he allowed me to speak to him in the way i like because he was fed up of getting angry on me but i was still doing it in the same manner as i always to. God knows where he is now. Such a feeble mind that left job without even saying anything to aanybody. Just like that vanished. Thats why the tag - Shift+Delete+Enter
• Asheesh Maharana: And thats me.....
• Yash Pal Gramni: Another comedian of our group - pukka jaat. He gets heated up if u call him jaat because he is not a jaat, he is a punjabi. But he had got all the qualities of a jaat. The most romantic guy in our group. Never went a day, when he didnt use to get a phone call from the call center girls and he actually hold them up for more than one hour. But this guy was quite commited to his college love and finally settled with her in Noida. Unfortunately again, i couldnot attend his marriage where i was invited so cordially. Although he got engaged and nobody in office or our friends get to know a single word of it. In a weekend, he went to his home just like that as he always does and Monday he blew the bomb that he got engaged and marriage is in 2 months. Best of wished for his life ahead. Btw this is the only guy who is continuing in Escorts till now. I see him as the head of a department there in a few years from now.

There were a few persons missing in that pic. We used to be a gang of 12 guys with all of them having different flavours and insight towards life. Vikrant Pandurang Ranaware, Kapil Verma, Krishna Kumar Sharma, Bankm Chandra Biswas, Saravanan, Shrikant, Manoj Ranjan Jha.....Dont have their pic right now but I wont be able to forget this gang for the rest of my life.

One more learning !!

There are certain things that cannot be explained through any literature or through any blogs. But lemme try this out once.

There are few moments when you think that you dont have any existence at all. What i mean is, until now I was under the impression that "Everybody has taken birth on earth for a specific reason." Be it the President, be it the big industrialists, be it the civil middle class person, be it the riskshaw puller or be it the beggars. All of them have got a particular role to play which cannot be performed by others. But recently I discovered few deviations which forced me to rethink this notion. Well, to be precise, this is what I have ended up with.

"God do exist and he has made destiny for everybody without even applying his idiotic mind."

Yes, till now i didnt have any faith on God but now I hate those who pray to god for small favors, i hate those who take pride in showing off how much religious they are and what an atheist i am.

Mid Year Review of Resolutions

This is not the only year i made resolutions. Every beginning of a year, i used to make a list and stick to it as long as possible. So the list that I prepared on 31st dec 2006 night after getting fully drunk is mentioned below with its status. Let me see how many of them i have been able to complete and which one needs urgent attention to work upon:

1. Change the company by March: This is the minumum duration within which a guy can switch a company. One month for searching the job and giving out interviews and another 1-2 months is the notice period. So right away from day 1, started posting my resumes in the market and wham!! resigned Escorts on 18th Jan with a notice to separate from the company by 15th Feb. This resolution was right on track and completed.
2. Propose the girl whom i loved since i was a child: Initially thought of proposing on Jan 1st no matter what the results would be. If the answer was 'yes', i would have to change my casanova attitude and if 'no' go back to the hunt again. But it took me more than 6 months to do that. Gosh, never thought it would be so difficult. Relationships cannot be maintained by any resolutions. If it has to develop, it automatically does. But happy that i had gained courage to do it.
3. Quit drinking: Used to be a regular drinker. To be very specific there wasnt any wednesdays and saturdays when i slept without vodka or rum. But 31st dec night was the last one when i drank with my friends. Apart from any official social parties, i havent touched alcohol till now. Great things happening.
4. Quit smoking: Used to smoke a lot too. 10-12 sticks per day. To achieve this resolution, i took my brand a lot higher and made it Marlboro so that with the same money spent on cigarettes i can smoke less number of sticks. So, it came down to 5 till July and its now even 2-3 per day. It sucks...why the hell did i made this resolution in the first place?
5. Will take CAT exam seriously: Total waste. not even started a single step towards this resolution. Guess I have to delete this one from the next year onwards.
6. Buy a powerful Bike: The first thing that i did with the very first salary of John Deere was invested everything on buying Pulsar-150. I was looking for the 180 version but people advised not to go for it in Pune. Anyway, 150cc is quite powerful than regular bikes. So no guilty feelings. I was quite unfortunate as just after a month of my purchasing the 150cc, the 200cc version of Pulsar was launched. Shit will take that into account next year. Mission accomplished
7. Learn to say No: This was a very big challenge and i am dealing with this right now too. I hope by the end of this year, i ll be strongly saying 'no' to anything that i dont like. Work in progress.
8. Never say anything that might hurt my friend's feelings: Learnt this when i started joking about friends when they are in trouble. Anyway, till now no casualties this year and i guess this has been quite successful. Its better to stay silent and say nothing than to say a single word and hurt somebody. This will again carry over to my next year's resolution list.
9. Give my parents a gift: Till now i havent given anything, not even a single penny, to my parents who have done so many things to make me stand of my own. So, it was in April that i bought a brand new car for them. I can not forget the smile and happiness on their face for the rest of my life. Accomplised.
10. Maintain a diary whenever i do a mistake: No mistakes till now so no diary at all. he hehe....Jokes apart I have forgotten how to write with hands. So, kind of maintaining the diary over here in blogs. Thats the most and the best i can do. i would rather grade this resolution a partially finished.
11. Read novels on regular basis: Flunked it miserably. The last one i read was in November last year and it was Da Vinci Code. After that i never got a chance to get my hands on any good novels. Thinking of finishing off Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Still incomplete.

Well that was the assessment of my resolutions till now. Will surely check again at the end of the year with which ones to carry forward to next year or drop it. Aaaaw man!! seems like i am doing my appraisal review myself....he hehe....but it was fun for me.