Vibranz '04

As soon as i arrived bhubs, had a home made lunch after a very long time and relaxed for an hour. Thats it, got onto my foot and headed for KITS for their college fest called "Vibranz '04". I have not many friends in that college and whoever are there were not present at that time except Sunny and Durgesh. Got a heartly reception at the gate itself which bowled me totally flat. So many girls in red sarees who were not so good if u look at them but were seemingly angels for me. After staying 4 yrs in kgp, not a surprise that ur mindset and taste become like this. One quote was revolving round my mind all through the time i was there

"Water Water everywhere, where to dive in and where to swim".

While in kgp, it turns into

"Water water nowhere, not even a drop to drink".

Whatever happened there can best be explained by Sunny's blog which he is going to delineate soon. So no need for me to write again. But i can never forget these 3 days of my life when i fell in love in every 5 mins. This was a way ahead of the statistics that i had during the Inter-IIT Sports Meet 2003 which was held in IIT Mumbai last year. Man it was awesome!!! to my eyes, to my heart and to my ahem ahem....lastly what i can say is KITS is the best college to do ur under-graduate study, a lot better than IIT-kgp at least.

The next day i found myself in train heading back to this hell called kgp.....m gonna miss this kind of event forever after this fucking college life

ETAE-04 The International Conference

The best four days of my life happened here during the International Conference in my department from 14th-17th December. To be precise, its called International Conference on Emerging Technologies in Agricultural Engineering 2004, in short ETAE-04.

12th December:

As i was a volunteer in the Momento group, i had to take a trip to calcutta and bring all the momentoes that had been ordered over the phone. Since, i would be having a sum of Rs 42000 with me, professor gave me a taxi for my trip. Frankly speaking i never found calcutta so confusing before. First, the driver himself lost track of where he was supposed to take me. Second, there wasnt a single good restaurant near that place where i had to pick up the momentoes, 300 pieces in all. In two hours all our work were over and we reached kgp by that evening itself. So in a 8 hr journey, almost 6 hrs were spent in the car which was boring and tiring. Aaaw.....i wont prefer any car to go to cal again, train is obvioulsy a better mode of transportation.

13th-14th December:

Asha and Suma arrived here for the dance program which was scheduled to be on 15th evening for a conference cultural show by students. Srinivas (my co-governor) and Rajesh were here for the show from the begining. Practice started right off the moment for the next two days. Even nightouts.....god hell, i never spent a night without sleep that too for dance.

Meanwhile i was busy buttering all the professors who came from various reputed universities of USA and luckily i was able to convince few of them to take me as their research assistant. One of the professors from the University of Wisconsin was very much interested to admit me in his college in the department of Industrial and Manufacturing Engineering. But ironically, i am not applying to that university at all because he put forth a condition which i am not comfortable with. He said that i shouldnt apply to any other universities as he would be wasting his time on me for getting the financial aid and he is very much correct in his way. The thing is i cannot miss universities like UIUC and Purdue for a single univ.

15th December:

15th evening arrived and our dance show was great which is undesribable in just words. When the video comes out, it would be clear how TDS (Technlogy Dance Society) had improved day by day, month by month and yr by yr. The society which i joined in my 1st yr is no more like that anymore. It has developed a million folds just in front of my eyes.

Next two days, i attended all the seminars and paper presentations and tried to improve my meagre knowledge. On 17th the conference ended on a happy note and everybody bid good-bye to each other exchanging their e-mail addresses and visiting cards. Damn!! i dont have ne visiting card yet.

19th December:

Thought many times and decided that i must attend the KITS fest as this is the last time that i would be attending any such big fests of a coll other that ours. So packed some dresses and right in the next moment i was on the train to bhubs. KITS experience in another blog.

[ A big event happened in between these days which i deliberately skipped because Times Of India ppl are keeping a close eye over all the blogs that we write and quote it in their news. You know what i am talking about: the MMS clip story and its relation to iit kgp ]

Horrifying Seminar Ever

After a long, very long time i m penning down here. Dont even remember when i blogged last time although its mentioned in the previous blog but m afraid to look at it. So, one month is a very long time and a lot of events happened with me. Going through them one by one:

3rd December:

Had to deliver a seminar on my project. As this is my final year, professors were really in a firing mood to kick everybody's ass who hasnt done anything in this semester. In just a span of 3 days after my exams got over, i prepared a 30 page report and only god knows whats its content was. Another nightout fetched me a kool presentation file of 25 slides. I was totally ready to be fucked up by all the profs that day. When i went to the dept, seminars of two guys were already over and one of them got a "RE" which means he has to stay in kgp for one more month in this vacation, do his project sincerely and report it in january first week again.

For the first time in my life, i was quite nervous to give a seminar. Although i performed well in last two seminars of mine and got the highest grades in them in my class, things were bit different and difficult this time. First and foremost reason was two of my friends had got the same content what i had in my project and most importantly one of them already got the "RE". The other guy, Praveen went into the room and showed all the professor his bare ass for them to fuck. Finally he came out after 30 min or so and was relieved that he escaped the "RE" and got a B grade. I thanked god. Next to his roll no. was mine. But i sent another guy so that the professors get a break to listen to the same stuffs that Praveen presented. I should have known that God hates me and that guy was returned back and i was called to give my seminar. Hopelessly i got inside that dark chamber.

The most important part of all my seminars were the graphics and animations that i incorporate in them. Content wise and funda wise, slides got a 'zero' value. This time also i did the same thing to lure the profs and luckily they went through each and every slides of mine even through the theory part which they hate the most and skipped in all the seminars before. 40 min i was in there explaining to them about which i knew only 20%. Surprisingly, they were all impressed and couldnt even identify that what i showed was the same thing which they had seen in the previous seminar of Praveen. Finally, i was the happiest person on earth when i got the A grade. I love my professors....he hehe....But out of a class of 13 students, 7 (more than 50%) got "RE" and were very much depressed. Looking at our performance, the Mining department also gave 9 REs out of 19 students. Sometimes departments too have complexities with each other and to prove who is more studd.....ha haha

Yaahoooo!! Exams Over

Exams are almost over, so to say, only one left that too after three days. So its time that i take a break. This sem's exam brought me some new experiences and new ways to cheat. Although i know that this is the final year of my college life and if i got caught in any of these malpractices in the examination hall, i would get a straight extention in my academic career by one year and I dont want to live in this frust place for even a day after i complete my graduation rather under-graduation...eeh whatever. Thats another case. So here it goes:

Exam started on 19th nov for the whole institute, but as my department is great, my exam went off from 23rd.

[23rd Nov] Econometric Analysis:
I have been always wrong in choosing electives. Last sem it was Financial Management and this sem its this econometric analysis. Examzz over and i dont have any god-damn idea what was it all about. While taking the subject, i thought it might help me in getting into some management or business jobs. But when i realized that i have done a mistake, i wanted to change the elective all together. Then this bloody professor was a big hurdle. His instant reaction to my request of changing the subject
"son, there is no way out...it has got only a one way inlet traffic....why u worry...u are an iitian..u must love challenges now " WTF...what am i to do with the challenges??...what matters is the grade and i was pretty sure that i wont be getting a better one.
So four months passed and i hardly attended half of the classes but my proxy was given by one of my true friends Nitesh, thats what he tells me. Time of exam came and me got prepared to be brutally raped. Collected some xerox copies of notes of the brightest and sincere fellow of the class and started reading it. But all in vain. Never able to understand a sentence correctly. So, i prepared cheats, paper cheats, that too 2 pages long and hide it inside my calculator. Got inside the exam hall and occupied the last but one seat in the enormous hall so that i can watch every invigilator at a time. Clock ticked 2pm and it started. Looking at the question paper i was hallucinated. Gazed around me, and opened up my rescuer, the paper (they call it pudiya, the newspaper vendor saw me making these notes that morning and appreciated, cant forget that!!). What the hell, problems after problems:

• All the questions were written in hardcore economics language, i mean i just read the notations and their derivations. I knew the question demanded some derivations, but which one??....got totally confused. i had everything in my hand and i couldnt do anything....thats the sadest time of ur life
• A professor came by and sat at just a yard away from me. Fuck him!! He continued staring at people for at least 30 min from that place.
  
• So when i saw no scene of help from my chit, i started peeping into my true friend Nitesh. I made him sat in a seat front of me coz i have always an alternative plan if one fails. Gotto see some answers and i think i am now in a position to get a "P" grade in that subject

Its a history now...so after giving the exam, i just forgot that i had taken econometric analysis on my own choice which fucked me up totally.

[24th Nov] Dynamics and Mechanisms of Machines:
Now these types of subjects i love. One because i deals with mechanical department. Two because its prof is my project guide. This exam went good but that excellent.

The other day had got the worst things in store for me. Two exams on the same day and the best part is i didnt even touched these subjects after the mid semester whereas people said there was a whole lot of syllabus after that. But who gives a damn seriousness..At least not me. Final year baap!!! just have to pass the exam to get my ass out of this campus as soon as possible.
The longest ever duration i devoted to studies. Starting from 8 pm night to 8 am in the morning with a full nighout. Totally exhausted and saturated mind i went to give the exam. My eyes were burning and they wanted some rest too but u see they have to bear all these tortores...
[25th Nov] Heat Transfer (Morning session)
Same trail of screwing continued here. This time tried to write each and every formulae on whatever was visible like biceps, arms, legs..etc instead of using old paper chits. But shit yaar...it was very embarassing to pull my shirts off to have a glance on the hints. Couldnt do that in the exam hall...Actually i didnt have that much guts....yea thats the word i was looking for. So finally this exam also got me fucked up.
[25th Nov] Thermal Operations in Food Processing (After-noon session)
As i was getting frustrated on the way my cheating missions were failing, i invented new one. Tore papers from my notes which were seemingly important to me and pasted them on other notebooks. Kept all these copies open on the table where we had to submit all our belongings and went inside. Got out of the exam room at regular intervals and pretended to stand in front of the table and doing some crapy things like wiping out the sweat (its winter season here with day having max temp of 25 C), getting back an eraser, or pen or scale, everything separately. So, finally i can say that this was the most safe and easiest way to cheat and score the highest ever marks u ever obtained. It worked in my case, hope it does if u adopt it.......but then luck matters the most in all these activities and i know i am quite lucky all the time.

So, that was the reason for me not writing any blogs for such a long time. But now that i have got a three days break, i have already planned to how to spend these. Today itself there will be a night show of "Dil To Pagal Hai".....Veer-Jaara got me freaked out, so its better to watch another better yash-chopra movie. Then, i had to watch "Apprentice", the series i just started loving after Friends. But its not that addictive. And lotsa movies in store in my little and tiny hard-disk which are in the folder "To Be Seen"

Some Stuffs to do when You are Fee !!!

Try this:

1. Wake up late in the morning and without brushing your teeth, roam around. Dont use a mouth freshner also.
2. Hit a hard punch on the face of the strongest person around you. And dont forget to show a total 32 to him.
3. Watch 4 hindi movies back to back in the exam time although you dont have a lilttle idea about the syllabus of the subject coming the next day.
4. Leave your room still and dont clean it for 4 months (thats exactly one semester). Use it for sleeping purpose only and you can hear weird sounds at night.
5. Have a bath once in every 5-6 days but that too when people start complaining about some foul smell coming from somewhere. Pointing at the other person shout "he farted, i heard" and the next moment had a bath with a fragrant soap.
6. Having filled the CAT form, change your mind in the last moment not to give the exam where you are sure of failure and consequently miss the last train for calcutta to pose a genuine reason. I dont believe in "failures are the steps for success". It should be success or nothing.
7. When your friend is ready for a birthday treat, loot him as the 40 rogues used to do. People get very much excited at treats and even more if its an ice-cream and sweets treat.
8. Google out whatever you want but with the "i am feeling lucky" button. It shows some real kool search results. Couldn't still figure out what its all about.
9. Whenever you play some songs in winamp, start dancing also with hard thumping on the floor. As i am on the 2nd floor, the person just below me gets annoyed all the time. Its even worse when i wear leather shoes and do the same. When it comes to dumbells, i can find him knocking at my doors with a angry look.
10. Its quite obvious now that exams make you freak out a little bit and compell you to write such blogs. But its much more pathetic for those who are reading it. I wasted my time in writing and you did in reading upto this. Injoyeee
    

He hehe......UpUpAndAwaaaayyyy (^_~)

After the Interview

[ .....contd ]

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Mr. Ravi (name changed for confidentiality), about 43-45 yrs old, came to Azad hall at around 6pm. I was as usual in my bed. Sleeping of course. What do u expect one to do when he is in bed !! He had a chat with some of the students there and then went to Park (the most expensive hotel in Kharagpur) along with 7 guys, 4 of them were from our department. They rang me up at around 8 pm when i was preparing to go for a study in central library. Afterall, at one time in a semester, one has to be serious about his acads. I rushed to Park on my bike.

By the time i reached there, they had spent 30 min and their daaru treat was almost over. They all were totally drunk. I thanked god that i came late. I ordered a full chicken tandoori and thats it. I am on diet these days..he hehe.
"where have u been Mr. Maharana?" asked Mr. Ravi
wow, he still remembered my name "eeer sir...i was about to go to the library"
"as far as i remember, we are here only because u didnt wanted a booz treat....instead u suggested for a dinner"
"yes sir, actually i slept and when i woke up it was already late.....and i thought you all would have had your dinner by then"
"aaah c'mon....how can we forget you....drink a glass of vodka and i assure u, in front of all these guys, that your entry in my company is guanranteed"
"thank you sir for your proposal...but as i said before i dont drink and thats against my principles...."
"bhenchod (in punjabi accent)"
"Excuse me!!"
"In my recent past, nobody had rejected my requests.....maa ke laude"
Everybody around the table started laughing. And i feel myself smiling but i was lil bit confused. What happened to this bastard? Why is he talking like that??
And then, all the 20 years of supressed iitian lingo came out of his mouth one by one. We were totally surprised and then we also joined him and talked as we talk with our friends with all the lingo in their uncensored forms. Following are few of his statements which i can never forget, although i knew that he was drunk:

"There are only two ways by which you can succeed in life.....one: know what to do, two: be passionate about what you do" point noted

"Dont waste time on girls at this stage of life....Build your career first....and then maa ki laudi, all of them will come to you....and you ll have an option to choose" good point Mr. Ravi....highly in support of you.

"What?? how come u guys havent lost your virginity yet.....we used to explore all the time on our bikes and we had a concrete map of where to get whores...even we used to go to digha for that" you were lucky guys sir.....now we spent much time on our comp...and the rest in extra-curricular activities...no time to think of all these craps

"The best form of sex here in kgp is masturbation....do it in innovative ways all the time and i assure you that it ll satisfy you much more than real sex" No comments.....wooow!! how do u do that?

"I have a son of 13 and a sweet daughter of 4....when i reach home at late nights say around 12, my daughter always keeps awake and hugs me all the time....and that madarchod son, only says hii dad and goes back to his computer even if it was 8pm....mann karta hai maa chod doon haraami ki...but then i realise that his mom is my wife....actually its not his fault also...i can see a iitian in his at this time...bilkul mere pe gaya hai lauda" eeeh...family life is ruined when you go for money and responsibilities

"mere nanhi si jaan pe jo bhi nazar daalega, uski to main maa bahen ek kar dunga....goli maar dalunga saalon ko....tatte phod dalunga.....there was a boy in my baby's class.....i can clearly see he was flirting with my lil kid....his parents wanted us to meet them at their house....i told my wife to call those madarchods to our house.....and so they came......my kiddo was sitting besides me....and that son, sonofabitch, also came and sat besides her.....i was talking to his parents but my ears were stuck on the conversation of my daughter and that bastard.....madarchod khud ko iitian samajhta hai but my daughter will go into mit....she was showing a large middle finger to him all the time which made me proud that afterall meri beti hai...sabki maiya chod sakti hai" btw.....sorry but i was wondering about ur wife, Mr. Mane

"i was from mumbai slum area...and used to share bathroom with 25 families and for waht, shiit!! Now i own a bif house in mumbai with 5 bathrooms...in acads also i was weak....in a class of 34 students, my rank was 30th and the other 4 were god type.....but for all these one has to wait and work hard.....i started first as a salesman.....and see....i handle the whole indian branch and am paid in fat swiss money.....you'll realize there is a great difference in 2 lacs and 10 lacs....but there isnt any between 10 and 15 lacs.....now money doesnt matter much to me.....i cant find any time to spend with my family....its only the weekends that i get some but then all the time work goes on in my mind....this sucks man" man, the steep rise in career is awesome

He wanted to share these moments with a friend of his. He was from RK hall and the same batch. He went out of the bar cum restaurant and gave him a ring. Totally drunk he was and shouted all the slangs he knew and cut the phone. Little while later, that guy named Sexy, called back and asked "who the hell are you". Reply was "madarchod, main hoon...m in kgp....puraani baatein taaza ho gayi yaar...wish you were here....and u know what...there isnt anymore fight between azad and rk.....its now azad and nehru....RK bastards are out of the scene now." bla bla.....and then we went inside the bar and bhaated again. Boy, it was the best time i ever had in my life. The CEO of a such a big company talking like that. I couldnt even imagine in my weirdest dreams. He wanted to have some drugs 'ganza' and play guitar. The guys who had exams the next day were very much worried and Ravi gave them an assurance that if anybody fails in the exam, he ll absorb him into his company. But he wanted some company that night. And we were also very much excited. The azadians took him into their hall and god knows what they did with him. I bid him good-bye and thanked him for all the funde and treat.

I can say now that "Where ever an iitian goes, whatever he becomes and whatever he does, the iitian inside him always remains alive and which is why he can see himself different from others all the time...which is why he is very confident that if he can pass 4 years in iitkgp, he can easily overcome the rest years of his life through any ordeal....however big one iitian becomes, he sticks to his basics all the time....Live example Mr. Ravi Malhotra (name changed) who autographed a permanent signature on my mind"

[The End]

The Interview

[ Earlier in the Afternoon ]

Buhler, India's top rice processing company, had came to our department to give a presentation and recruit some B.Techs if they are really interested. Ravi Malhotra (name changed for confidentiality), head of Buhler's India branch, is a 1982 passout from Azad hall. Department doesnt matter as he never needed anything what his depatmental courses had taught him. Just to mention, he was from Chemical department. Anyway, all the ghasis were quite elated because this was the first departmental company which showed its ass this semester. Each and every student attended the presentation.... M.Techs too, who knew they will not be considered for recruitment. Presentation went damn good. The image of the company in everybody's mind was crystal clear and amazing. Interested students were called for interview at 3:00pm.

[ 2:55 pm:::my guide's chamber ]

"why are u sitting in this company, u waited for tractor companies to come...and now u changing ur mind...are u sure u wanna join this company"
"give me a confirmation that a single tractor company is coming except TAFE....u give a consolation and i ll carry on my project instead of wasting time in this interview"
"well, i m not sure they will come or not....but as i promised u, i ll fix u up in UIUC.....what about ur apping"
"sir....apping is altogether a different thing....to be on a safer side, why not keep a job in packet and carry on the apping work....after all this company has come offcampus....so no harm in sitting in it...i can ditch it anytime i want"
"ooh...this is offcampus then.....ok then u proceed...and keep the talk very much casual.....dont be nervous and all the best.....btw remove this tie....u dont need in such an interview"
"yes sir....as u wish" i removed my tie and loosened my collar button and went on to the interview chamber.
******-----------------------------------------------------------******

I saw many M Tech guys standing in front of the interview room. I mean what the fuck, i thought they werent allowed to sit. But anyways. The best part is their interview ended in just 2-3 mins. They were coming out of the room furiously. I asked them what questions did he posed. "Which branch do u want to get into in and why" "Waht are ur salary expectations" "where do u see urself after 5 years" and they stop. Thats it. Is this an interview, i wondered!!

The 1st BTech,Kedar the palmistry guy, went in. To add some more in his bracket he has a job in IBM already and in high demands in his place as a groom. There was a little pane engraved in the door through which we guys were looking at him. He put his ass on the chair and sat like the king of Vandamore. "Ohhh no...not now....he is playing the tricks he conjured during IBM interview....difference being the interviewers were two ladies there and here its a big fat guy" But his interview went quite for a longer duration than the MTech people. He came out of the room and I rushed in.

"Hello sir"
"Please have a sit Mr."
"Mr. Asheesh Maharana, thank you sir.....Here is my biodata"
"Well asheesh....is it clear in your mind that we havent came here for recruitment as such...we dont have ne vacancies now.....but in may-june, we ll certainly have and then we ll contact you guys....."
"very much understood after the ppt....."
A prof, who brought this company, got inside the room. I said Holy shit. I cant lie anymore in front of a prof who knew me very well. I cant say i am hard working as he knew i never did a job on time which is assigned to me when i was G.Sec Sports of my dept and he was the prof to whom i reported all the time. God save me.
"So, asheesh in which dept u wanna join our company and why"
hehe, the M Tech walaa question.
"Sir, i want to start my career with the Design and Development of machines coz this is the area i am really interested in and i have taken all the machinery courses which were offered by my dept. To gain indepth knowledge in machines, i have done a lot many course in mechanical department also. Its a different matter that i just missed a minor degree in mech "
"Hmm....well proffesor, i remember....the hall days started in our batch....PAN loop celebrated together in that ground in front of them...is it still going on now"
The professor was looking at me.
"Oh yes sir....thats the best day of the year for a hall.....but now its kinda different....different halls celebrate it separately.....the main motive being the elections....the target is the 1st year student specially....everything has been spoiled by this politics now....now Azad and Nehru are bitter rivals....they can kill each other if given a chance"
"bad...thats really bad....you dont invite your profs?"
"no way sir.....when we have booz flowing openly, how can we think of inviting profs.....infact the wardens are also not invited"
"oh my god....thats bullshit"
"moreover thats the only day when we are allowed to take girls inside our room....who is gonna miss this chance"
the prof left the room to attend a phone call
"Have you done anything till now?" with a weird look
"Pardon me sir"
"Ahem...we are diverted from the interview.....so u wrote here that u know computer designing....3D autocad, i guess, u can work on"
"no sir....i know 2D autocad....for 3D designing i opt for Maya and inventor.....but if u want i can learn that.....it becomes easy to expand ur ideas when u have a strong base "
"yea thats true"
"sir, can i ask one question?"
"aah....go on"
"in the ppt u told, 150 crore is the annual turnover in india.....and i guess there are not many rice processing factories in india..then whom do u sell all these advanced machines at the rate of 60 lakhs per piece as u said"
"you are mistaken my dear....many factories are there in india"
"btw sir, whats the rank of your company in india....i never heard of this company in the last 3 yrs of my study over here"
"first...a way above all other factories"
"and in the world"
"well there are some japan companies which are on the top now.....but we are trying our best to give them good competition"
"is there any RnD office in india branch....i dont think there is any sort of research going on in that branch which has got merely 160 employees"
"thats true....we dont do research here....these are done in switzerland, our headoffice and in many US offices....in india we do projects....we build rice mills for our clients.....you ll have to do that also...prepare models of mills, draw them on autocad ...all that stuff"
"actually sir i never thought of it before.....plant designing is not the area i m interested in.....how am i going to work in for projects when i am interested in designning machines..."
"haha..you can always learn that....we dont expect anybody who joins us to know everything....thats why we send them swiss and germany for training for 6 months which can extend to 2 years"
"Learning ll be a good experience for me"
"one last question....what is ur salar expectation"
"looking at ur company's profile and my opportunities there, a salary of minimum 3 lakh i can expect"
"ok asheesh, we ll contact you in may"
"fine sir....thank you.....sir, u said you would be coming to azad in the evening for a trip"
"yea i would be there at around 5 or 5:30...and we ll go for a booz treat then"
"sir, i dont drink....how about a treat in park?"
"aah thats fine.....anything u say"
shook hands and went out of the room.

[to be continued........]

Gunda - greatest movie ever made

I do not share my views over movies, but this is something which i cant stop spitting out. Last week, it happened that i got addicted to movies. Every single movie on lan i downloaded and thoroughly watched, seriously. 5 movies back to back in a day, you can well imagine how dedicated i was. When i got frust of the english movies, i wanted to switch over to some hindi drama type films. You cant dare to call hindi cinema to be "movies", they are simply "films". Neways....that time no new hindi film was in market, so picked up a Mithunda starrer cinema called GUNDA. Before writing anything about it, just peruse over some of its dialogues:

• Protagonist, the main villian's (Gang No. 1) typical statement: "mera naam hai bulla, rakhta hoon hamesha khulla"

• His brother's: "mera naam hai chutiya...acche accho ki khadi karta hoon main khatiya..."

• His right arm's: "mera naam hai pote jo apne baap ke bhi nahin hote" "jaljala jaag utha hai...ab sabko pata chalega ki gangwar start hone waala hai....lashen is tarah se tapkengi jaise nanhe munne bachhe ki nunni se pishaab tapakta hai.....tapp tappp" "Kyonki aajkal nehtagiri aur gundagiri ek hi baap ke do haraami aulaad hai" "Waah kafanchor nehtaa, khotey sikke ne kya baat boli hai - boli hai to aise boli hai jaise bandook ki goli hai"
  

• Villian of Gang No 2: "Mera naam hai lambu aata....saale ko dunga maut ka chaata"

• Villian of Gang No. 1 on the rape of her sister: "Munni....meri bahen munni...to tu mar gayi....Lambu ne tujhe lamba kar diya....Maachis ki teeli ko khamba kar diya"

• And in these dialogue war how can our hero, MithunDa lag behind: "Garibon ke liye jyoti, aur tum jaise gundon ke liye jwaala, naam hain shankar, aur main hoon goondaa number 1"

I guess this much speak volumes about the movie. Some obsevations on this drama..ahem i mean film:
1. Dialogues are just superb. Nobody can ever imagine that bollywood can make such desi style and typical indian dialogues which suits each and every character in the film. applaudable!!!
2. Its a great play...ahem..i mean film , if u are action lover and love to see the hero win all the time this film is for you only. MithunDa is great at fights yaar....i just love him
3. Songs.....cant comment on these as i didnt get time to listen to them. The dialogues and the plot kept me so mesmerized that i skipped all the songs.
4. Dance....Nobody can beat MithunDa in this field. After all this is the first hindi hero who brought male dance into bollywood as it is now. Although i skipped the songs, but i can see MithunDa dancing with faster and quicker moves.
5. Entertainment......Full time. Not even for one second, u ll feel like bored. I can bet on that.
6. It has created a new wave of fans in IIT kgp. --The MithunDa fan club--. Sharukh Khan after his so many great movies with the lastest Veer-Zaara couldnt create such effect as this movie Gunda has created.

And what else do u need to make a hindi film hit? But as i always say, everything is not perfect. Everybody has got some weaknesses as i got from the horror movies. Surely this movie has some:
1. You need to think beyond and take the second meaning of all the dialogues. That way, u can enjoy more
2. Not even a single sister is left raped. So, among women, this movie will find some difficulties to spread its charm.
3. Never watch this movie...sorry i mean film, alone. Have two or three guys with you. I watched it alone and can bear only the 1st part. Didnt have courage to open the 2nd and 3rd CDs. 1st one was more than enough for me. Infact, I have watched this part for more than 3 times till now coz of which most of the dialogues have been memorized by me and my friends. I can clearly guess how funny and enjoyable the other two parts would be.

I, Asheesh Maharana, hereby declare that this low-budget movie of 1998 "Gunda" should be nominated for the National Film Festival award. Although there is a news in air that it should go for the oscars but thats quite imposs kinda thing untill and unless it has some great starcasts and a huge budget. But it can do well in all Indian Screen Awards- Videocon, Samsung, etc. If people can understand the underlying meanings of this greatest movie, surely no one can stop this film from excelling in all fields- director, choreographer, script writer, best actor in negative role, best actor, best comedian.... u name them, it ll get them.

There is no point of missing such a film. Get hold of it from somewhere. Even if u dont get it, apply any tactics and watch this film of the millenium. You cant just afford to miss it!!!

The Diwali Day

People say, you get new clothes, new foodies, cookies and what not on the festive of Diwali. But come to IIT kgp and you'll forget all these things. For the last four years of my stay here, i havent been able to eat properly on that day. I had to fill my stomach with a mere egg burger or a cup of tea/coffee whatever is available by that time. Did anyone say new clothes......Huh!!! You can watch me with pied dress all colored up with rangoli powders. I sometimes think that i celebrate holi two times a year, the latter one in a bigger and for a much extended time as long as a week. Here they used to call this competition Rangoli and Illumination.

Illumination:

This is the most extravagant way of wasting the money of students. But then it is the most unusual thing happening in this whole eastern zone, rather in India i guess, at least not in any college level. It first starts with a big budget of around Rs 50,000 (lil more than $1000). And mind it, this isnt any money of iit administration, it is the money of student.
Anyway, illumination, we call it illu for short, is a competition between different hostels here. On the day of diwali, the whole iit hostels will be powered off and they ll decorate their halls (other name of hostels) accordingly. The hall which does it brilliantly wins. This looks simple but its that much harder when u get into it. Preparations for this starts more than a month before. A proper theme is decided which has to be depicted to the judges. According to the theme, various designs are made, which are very simple though. Chatai are bought which have huge dimensions on which the designs have to be transferred. After doing that, small loops with a size to support the diyas are fastened to the chatais along the design. Many tests are done before the final presentation. Dry test where the diyas are checked again and again so that the clear figure comes up. Wet test where the whole scene is given the final look, the diyas are filled with oil and lighted and then checked for the figure. If all is perfect, green signal to go ahead for the final round.
This is the one just before the final presentation, where students are 20-23 fts high from the ground and ligting diyas for their illu to be judged.


10 min after this picture was taken, judges arrive and the whole view looks mind blowing and marvellous. You couldnt believe that just students without any professional skills would have done this.




Isnt that nice???

Rangoli:

After watching this, you wouldnt be in your senses anymore. You must have seen many paintings, numerous sketches and not to say Rangolis also. But when you see the rangoli that is done here, you cant think that this can be done on this earth too. A painting, and i mean a proper painting is taken and it is copied exactly on the floor not by any colours but by color powders. You can probably think how much laborious work it is by watching the following picture:



It has also got its own complications. The main objective is to repaint a pic of paper size 8"X5" into a 14'X9' floor rangoli (" for inches and ' for feet, for clarification). The floor is divided into equal number of divisions as done in the painting. The sketch is then traced on the floor by markers. And then it begins. Powder colors termed as rangoli (some kind of chemicals i guess) are mixed with sand so that they slip away from hand easily and spreads uniformly. With the help of small sieves, you start putting layers of colours on the floor. The shades has to come as they look in the painting which is the most difficult part of it. But neways, by around 6-7 days the whole rangoli gets prepared with 3-4 nighouts of course apart from 6-8 hours work a day. The rangoli that fetched the 1st prize last year is this, have a look:


And i was involved in it totally. This year due to some genuine problems i couldnt contribute much but i always wished positively about my hall.

Result/ Prize:

It would be surprizing that after spending about 1 month of one's academic semester, investing around 50,000 bucks, what one gets in prize in a pot full of rasgulla.
1st Prize: 300 rasgulla
2nd Prize: 200 rasgulla
3rd Prize: 150 rasgulla
Consolation Prize: 100 rasgulla
Is that what all these are worth for? But what makes sense is the winner. The prizes dont matter here but the title does. The halls which win these titles, illu and rangoli separately, cant sleep for the next two days enjoying their success. Same happens with those who dont get anything. But not in enjoyment but in mourning of the wastage of their 50000 bucks which is non-refundable, which burnt in just 10 min in front of their eyes and fetched no rasgullas also.
Well what can one expect in the land of Bengolis.....Anything, just anything for a rasogolla......"kimon dada? thik bolche naa"

The Plan

Our wing is planning to visit some places during winter....obviously the first thing that comes to our mind are the nearer spots like Digha, Puri etc.....Been to digha, a few days back with all my TDS (Technology Dance Society) members....it was really fun and when we came back we all were sun tanned....have a look at it

It took us some days to recover from the different shades that our skin had adopted..... Actually, earth's ozone layer has really thinned down.....and environment savers must start thinking about this seriously as its getting dangerous to bath in ocean for 4-5 hrs at a stretch.....shall come to this trip later on....

Finally, we came to one common conclusion that this december we are going to Guwahati and then to Shillong where we can peep into bangladesh villages.....i did it twice and so i wanted my friends to do....The view was awesome.....Cherrapunji, the place known for the heaviest rainfall in india, looked marvellous that time when it was all surrounded with clouds, when u can feel them at ur lips.....This wasnt enough to make all of my friends to agree for it......there is a temple in guwahati called ....hmmm......oh god, its erased out of my mind.....neway, that temple is famous for bringing your wishes come true.....the secret is, it is one of the reasons why i am in IIT instead of the preparations and knowledge that i had and only i knew....... my wish was "i ll never ask for nething if i get into one of the iits, no matter how bad my rank is"....and it happened.....i got not so bad rank and got into the best college i wanted to be.......well thats another story and i am getting distracted now...... For the non-atheists and religious friends of mine, it was a nice place to be in the winter......and for the others, shillong trip was the 'thing'.......

Packing it up shortly.......Happy Diwali

Internet is Injurious to health (sometimes) - II

Fuck me !!!.....i should have guessed that Kedar is learning Chiromancy from the same site from which i verified that afternoon.....Some dumbos never fail to excel

Internet is Injurious to health (sometimes)

The other day, one of my friends Kedar held my hand and looked at it carefully. "Are you alright?" I asked. He replied "You are very passionate". "What??...Dammit...You believe in all these craps...If yes, tell me something i know about myself but never told you guys?". He looked at my right hand with a kid glove and answered back "You ll have a very beautiful wife........." [pause for 4 sec] "...four children" [pause for 10 sec] "2 boys and 2 girls.....andddd a parallel affair". "Huh!!! Were those pauses for making up such a vague statement. Dont you think 4 is a quite high a number when it comes to progeny of one's....I mean when its high time for controlling population, how can an educated person like me go for not 2 or 3 but 4 children". I knew his theory was total blunt but still then i appreciated some of the predictions he made. Wife being beautiful doesnt mean , in any case, that you can have four. Thats bogus...

"Chiromancy" is what they call the art of reading one's palm and predicting the future. Palmistry was used initially but not in use now as it gives an indication of "sadhu" and "sants" which most people dont like. This is what we were doing and discussing in the Heat Transfer class. I came to my room and searched for this art on net. Afterall, lets use the net for good at least for once. 4 children, i cant believe.....i need to verify that. Finally, after some serious searching i got a suitable site and found that i am really destined to have four children, two boys and two girls. God damn it....All this is fake....Everything is faux......Bulllshit or Horseshit, whatever you like to call it......Closed the computer and crashed on my bed

Oooh....Thats gonna hurt Again

Have you ever thought of completing a four months work in a day? Are you in a position to speak on a specific topic for at least 30 min when you know nothing about it, neither the subject nor its contents? Given a time bound, are you ready to face a whole lot of bloody professors who are promptly prepared to fuck you up? Hmmmm.......guess i do

I, finally, stood up on my legs and washed my face to get ready for removing the project work load. It was in the afternoon when my ripped soul needed some nap. Still then gathered all the latent courage and headed for the department on my bike.

The research scholar who is assigned to me for assistance is a real cool dood. Not only he arranged everything for me, starting from the machine repair to all the instruments needed for measurements, but also, to my greatest surprise, he called a junior of mine for entertainment. It would be harsh on my part to call that junior a guy but that was a 'she'. I wondered what 'she' has to do in farm machinery. Actually, my prof alloted her a project same as that of mine and told 'her' to contact me and get the whole funda. Earlier the prof asked me what to do with the girl who approached him for the project. I suggested him some real good projects which were suitable for 'girls' with no masculine work involved. But the girl seems quite interesting in the subject and what one can do if the concern is too much. So, this is how it went.

There is no need to describe the whole project here. It would be better for me if i write that in my report instead of jotting it down here. Anyway, she was given a cell and told to take the time. Thats what she was there for. Moreover what can you expect from a 'girl'. Although this statement is quite ironic as there are much more expectations that u can have from a girl only. Without diverting much from the topic, my project completed within 30 min of its start. Got all the data in my notebook and offered a treat to all the associates out there. Alas! the 'girl' left as soon as the data were taken. So, i guess she missed the treat.

Got a seminar to deliver on my project on 3rd of December. I think i am quite early in completing some portions of the project. Precisely speaking, none of the objectives have been completed yet. And i cant think of any explainations i should give the profs about this.

Holy Fuck!!!!! I forgot that notebook at the cafeteria

Listen... Clouds of the Sky !!!

Oo Asmaan Ke Baadal

Oo asmaan ke baadal
Kyun ho raha hai tu pagal
Jaan ke pyaar mein apni
Ho raha main ghayal.

Jab suni thi uski
Madmaati woh paayal
Uski adaaon ka main
Ho gaya tha kaayal.

Yaad usse karke main
Khus ho jaata hoon
Ki ek uska chehra hi
Ghar baahar paata hoon.

Salil si masti thi usmein
Kya main tumko bataoon
Darde muhabbat kya main
Ab tumko sunaun.

Aaj kahan woh hogi
Kab mujhko khabar hai
Dil mera ab aapse hi
Bekhabar hai.

Oo asmaan ke baadal
Kyun ho raha tu paagal
Jaan ke pyaar mein apni
Ho raha main ghaayal.

The Story of a Poem

I could see the paper snoring
And my poem beginning to yawn.
As I thought, thought and thought
But the start never came on.

"Essay", i finally broke the silence
"No way", declared the pen.
"Essay", justified my paper
"Are only for serious men."

After a long while I asked,
"How about a joke or two?"
Giggling at me the paper said
"Sense of humour, and you?"

This time I said with conviction
"A story wont be that bad."
"Oh no!" sighed the paper
Even the pen wasnt too glad.

"Lets jot down a poem"
They looked at me in glee.
I had no other option left
But to write what you can see.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:
I am very much thankful to my dear friend Sunny babe, who is my constant source of inspiration for writing poems. One needs a very hard and forceful push to do these types of 'non-economical' and 'time-consuming' craps for which i owe him a lot. I am also grateful to my wingmates whose bitter criticisms on my non-poetic sense posed me this challenge and i find myself getting into it by starting this kind of useless thing.
I gives me immense pleasure on the release of my first poem which was kept in the draft mode for more than two weeks. Hope there would be at least one person in this whole world who ll like to read my poems. And thats my best friend MAsh.

Asheesh Maharana
Dated: Friday, 5th Nov

DP @ home

Dear Mash...

Been to home for 2 days. After spending six days here in kgp during the holidays, thursday night i decided to take the first train to home the next morning. Actually, life had became hell not in terms of fun and enjoyment but for the basic needs of human existence- Food, and you know how i admire food. During the astami, me with my wingmates struggled in the restaurants to get the dinner. After 1.5 hrs or so, the dinner came and by that time the rats were already killed inside my stomach by the bio-acidic substances it produces, as they say. Horrible experience was that. After all it was Dussehra Pooja and bengolis are supposed to go out to restaurants once a year. Not their fault. Neither mine. All of them were owed by Mr. Rakesh, the waiter. He was the one who ignored us among all the bengolis sitting over ther. He was the one who took the order but forgot to bring the dishes to our table. Hopeless fellow. I would have thrown him out of his duty if i were the owner of the hotel.
As a whole, the two days of gap from kgp life was quite good for me, pyschologically and physically. Nice experience althougth i missed the Dandia festival in the Mayfair Hotel. Damn it!!! It just came to my mind while writing this blog. Looking forward to this tedious process to over.
Good-night, take care
Yours Maharana

GRE series - VI

...... contd

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 1:15 pm
Venue: Prometric Exam Chamber

The bell rang and a beautiful damozel recieved me at the door. Uff yahan bhi distractions !!! Anyways, the guy over there took a photograph of mine and made me aware with some rules and regulations. I was told that throughout the test i would be observed by video camera, so no need of indulging in any sort of malpractice and if i need anything just raise your hand, we'll come to help you. Yes Sir. I agreed and signed in a logbook and entered the glass walled chamber.
The room was like one of the cyber-cafes in bhubs. Two computers are separated by a vertical wall made of polyster/wood. You can watch your neighbour very clearly but not his computer. I was given an ear plug so that there wouldnt be any disturbances. The lady set my computer on and allowed me to take my seat and wished me best of luck. Ohh my god!! What a sweet voice she had. After Preity Zinta, she has got the most wonderful voice in this world. Distraction again!! Concentrate bastard.

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 1:30pm
Section: Analytical Writing (Issue)

After going through all the instructions very carefully, i clicked to start the exam. The 1st section was to write your views on an issue. Two topics were given and i chose one. Its amazing that I still remember the topic word to word:
"Anyone can make things bigger and more complex. What requires real effort and courage is to move in the opposite direction—in other words, to make things as simple as possible"
I had 45 min in hand. Well that seemed to me a lot of time. I had taken a lot of fundas on how to get a 6 on 6 in issues. I tried to recollect all those sentences which should be written and which i memorized so as not to lose time in structuring the sentences and spend much of my time in developing ideas. But what the hell?? I couldnt even remember the first sentence. What the fuck is going on? Went 10 min and i havent typed a single word. The points i had written down on my scrap paper, but i was not getting the initial push. I realized that why my dad kept on saying "Son, its always better to write whatever you are reading. It would make you much more confident in the exam and your hand will not stop even though your mind stops working." It was all because i never wrote any issues before and moreover i was overconfident that i write well and comment well, so its obvious that i ll do well in the issue writing part. So i had skipped the total portion. All these helluva passed through my mind as well as eyes in a few fractions of seconds. Then i just calmed down and started to thinking of my own sentences and left what i was supposed to write and what i had prepared for. My typing speed is awesome and i m proud of that. The 10 min loss in the begining doesnt bring that much harm to me and i was finished 2 min before the end of the section. All is well that ends well.
Had a 10 min break after this section. I accepted the break and went out to answer the nature's call again and refresh my mood.

Day: 0 (Wednesday)

Time: 2:23pm
Section: Analytical Writing (Argument)
In 5-6 mins, i finished my business and again entered the chamber. There were 2 more min of break. So i utilized it by observing the cameras, their positions, the profile of the girl sitting next to me, the actions that candidates normally do when they face some really difficult questions and i wondered this would be my situation after some time.
So, my break ended and the argument topic was given. No alternative option this time. It reads:
"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors"
Now i have got 30 min to answer this or rather to criticize this argument. I forgot what i read on how to begin the first sentence and how to assemble the ideas so as to give the reader an attractive impression. There was no time for that. I learnt in the previous section that without prior practice nothing can come up during the exam when you are under stress. Ironically, i have practiced a bit on how to tackle with the arguments. But it was better for me to forget that and keep on writing and simultaneously building up the ideas. And i was really surprized by the outcome. i literally fucked the author of this argument although the sentences lack that glamour but its acceptable, thats all i can say.
And this section ended with which i was satisfied. After a break of 1 min, the next section was about to come.

........To be Continued

GRE series - V

...... contd

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 12:30pm
Venue: 1st floor, Sukh Sagar Building

My dear friend, so as to say senior, told me to arrive at the center a bit early so that the documentary work gets done quickly which could let me get in the exam chamber sooner. Saw Kumaresh coming out of the chamber.
"Hey, how did u do? Whats ur score?"
"Oh man. Exam went far out of my imaginations. I couldnt believe that i scored 1350"
"Oh la la...there u go.....u ll be with ur gf soon in US...congratulations"
"lets hope so"
"hey buddy, listen...can u tell me some questions that were asked in ur paper.....i know u cant recollect but can u pressurize ur brain a bit and tell me some....i heard that the questions get repeated in the exams on the same day"
"sorry yaar...kuch yaad nahin aa raha"
"well ok...lets see...whats there in store for me....u go and check out of Shree....that old man must be furious by now....dont know if he has thrown ur luggage out of the room.....he is really afucking bastard....rush in"
"yea i must go now...best of luck...do well....i want u in US too"
"ooh sure.....i ll..thanx neways.....meet u in hall"
Entered the glass door and the immediate response on my face "What the fuck!!!" There were nearly 10 ppl, even more than that, sitting in the waiting room. The reception guy gave me a warm welcome. He was nice in behavior although i couldnt realise any sort of gay feelings in him. He gave me some papers to sign which clearly says two three points which i'll never forget:

• Nothing is allowed inside the Exam room. Everything'll be provided. (I had doubt about my shirt and pant)
• If the candidate is found leaking the question outside or inside the exam room, his/her score will stand cancelled. (well what the fuck is that....i have enough rights to express myself, anywhere, anytime)
• ........
• ....
• ...

That was enough tonic for me...i signed quickly and submitted the papers alongwith my passport and institute identity card. God saved me, I didnt forgot that to bring along. So and so, time passed by and at around 1:10 pm i was returned back those papers and made to stand just outside the chamber. I was told that they ll call me inside when my turn comes.
Actually, i dont want to mention but i was sweating, even though there was hard centralized AC working. It was, i guess, because of nervouseness. No!! It cant be. I wasnt afraid of the exam. I knew that it wont go well with the preparations that I had. But there was something which kept on itching me. Maybe the concern for the future career. Maybe that the fear that i never makhaoed any exam before. And a lot many 'maybe's which i cant clearly demarket right now. Its in my mind but cant able to write it down. In this spooky situation, i went to answer the nature's call, although i answered it 30 min back. Now this is the type of feeling you get when you first get on to the stage. Will share these feeling later.
And the bell rang, and i was called inside.

.......To be Continued

re: wahts up dude?

ram ram bandhu,

Kauchi beet rahi hai DP..... Tohar ghar mein sab fikarwa karat rahe..... tu jawat kaahe naahin..... jo kaam tum abhi karat rahe uhi to tum ghar se wapas aane ke baad bhi karat saki naa..... kya ukhaad liya panchon din reh ke.... tanik bataiyo jara hame...... kichu naahi naa..... hum sab janat sake hai.....kichu chipane ki jaroorat naaahi......
waise..... hum tohar waaste, uu kaa kahte hain hindi mein, good news laawe hain..... hamra bhi GRE khatam hoi gaya..... tere jitna score aawe hain hamra bhi utna hi..... what a coincidence, naahin?
Apna khabar sunaate rahiyo middle middle mein......chalat rahi hum

jai ram ji ki
tohar
Mashua

wahts up dude?

Dear Mash,

Well, i didnt knew that after giving up the GRE, life would become hell. The most boring and tiring part is perusing through the webpages of various universities and finding out the researches going on there. It wouldnt give you much pleasure to lick the professors' ass. But if you have to go abroad and continue your study, you have to, no other way out.

Last night i felt some pain in my right eye. It could be coz of continuosly looking at the monitor for 3-4 hrs at a stretch inspite of the anti-glare screen. I think i must put on my specs while working on the computer. But it doesnt look nice on me. Moreover, people keep on teasing me if i do so. I hate when somebody says me 'maggu', which i am not. Just specs couldnt give such an indication.
Started reading a new novel - The Diary of A Young Girl by Anne Frank. Its totally a new in its own way of depiction of the story. Hope it will help me in spending my time effectively here in kgp. Whats at your end?

love Maharana

GRE series - IV

.....contd

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 10:30 am
Venue: Shree Krishna Temple

Went to the nearby Krishna temple. What a peaceful and calm atmosphere was that among all the filthy environment of the metropolitan city. Spent some time over there closing my wandering eyes. Murmured the prayer which my mom taught me when i was 5. Althought the lyrics i couldnt recollect totally but the tune, yes i could.

It wasnt even 20 min, i could see a beautiful angel coming over to the platform of the temple. Besides her was his dad. 'Shit man!!! What i am looking at? Just concentrate on ur prayer and complete it.' But of no use. My eyes remained open all the times without any flickers. Her dad was staring at me, i could well sense that. But i was helpless and mesmerized. 'ab mera kuch nahin ho sakta. aaj to fukka lagega hi lagega. fate bhi saath chhod degi aaj, bhagwaan ke darbaar mein eisa kam jo kar diya', i said to myself, concluded my prayer and got my ass of of there. Back to the pavilion again.

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 11:00 am
Venue: Shree Guest House Reception Counter

Collected all my stuffs from the room and checked out. Asked the reception guy to take care of the other luggages of my friends who ll return by 12:30 or so. That guy turned out to be an uddu. But who cares as long as his behavior has become all bengoli. I really hate them. I was on my way to Prometric Center with a very nervous mind and body.

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 11:15 am
Venue: Hotel in front of the Center

Had my lunch over here with a paper in my hand. I was memorizing the sentences to be used in arguements, so that not much of my time is consumed in the actual exam in thhinking over and over again what to write and how to criticize an arguement. So, i had prepared some sample sentences which can be fitted in any topic. Thats the way iitians memorize things and make things simpler.
But gosh!!! Yahan bhi bandiyan aa gayi. Not one but 7 this time. And these are much more cuter than the temple waali bandi. To make things much worse, they occupied the table in front of me. I wanted to concentrate but how can i when so many 'menkas' are there. I guess it was menka who broke the meditation of valmiki. Aaaw forget it, i have got a very bad memory. Its worse when it comes to mythology. I moved back to the last table and faced by back to them and continued my RAM program to run.
At around 12:15, paid off the bill and moved to the Sukh Sagar Building which was just in front of the hotel on the other side of the road.

.......To be Continued

GRE series - III

........contd

Day: -1 (Tuesday)
Time: 8:00 pm
Venue: Sarat Bose Road (Kolkata)
Got a bus to Minto Park from the Howrah railway station. Beside the park is the Sarat Bose Road on which my center was there. I took out the address, it read:
_____________________
Prometric Test Center
Prometric Testing Pvt. Ltd.
Flat 1/C, 1st Floor
Sukh Sagar Building
2/5, Sarat Bose Road
Kolkata, India - 700020
_____________________

Saw the test center from outside. Filthy building....yakk. The guard didnt allow me to get inside. I moved ahead to find a place to spent the night. Luckily i had taken another address of an inn named Shree. As soon as i get inside, the old guy recognized me.
"You from IIT kgp, right?"
"yup. Can i get a room for a night?"
"Sorry dada, we dont have ne single rooms left"
"ok get me the double room then", i was fuming when he addressed me with 'dada'
"I m extremely sorry,we dont have that too. Every room is already booked"
"So what do u say i must do now"
"We have three quadruple rooms vacant, u can hire that"
"how much is it?"
"Rs 650 only"
"Am i looking mad to u? how do u expect me to hire such an expensive room that too of no use"
"then sorry boss"
"well thank you very much"
I got outside the inn with a blank mind. Whats next. Lemme just have a look around and find another inn. If nothing i can find, Shree inn will be the last option. Coincidentally, two guys, one from my hall and another one uddu,were walking in front of me. I yelled "Kumaresh, is that u?" He turned back and replied
"arre naa maharana, tera to kal afty mein hai naa. abhi se kyun aaya"
"nahin yaar eise hi socha ki kuch ghum fir lunga aur araam farmaunga. kal peacefully exam dene ka iraada hai"
"chal peace hai, kuch rehne ka thikaana hai ki nahin"
"nahin yaar, shree sala m@#@#c#$@, 650 maang raha hai, i was searching for another inn. Have u booked a room beforehands"
"yea, come with me. lets see what can be done"
"sure, thanx"
we went there again. They already booked a double room. I paid a little extra money and got with them.
After having out dinner together, we returned to our room. These two guys were fully prepared and were planning to sleep. It was me who was very nervous as because i didnt memorized the whole 50 word lists. I took out my so called High Frequency Words, and started mugging it. Thats the last option left with me to pass the exam. Looking at me their tempo also rose and they took out their Barron books. These ppl made me psyche. They keep on quesioning each other with so very unknown words that i feel ashamed of giving the exam. Finally, i pulled the blanket over me and bid good-night to them and slept peacefully. However they kept on mugging.

Day: 0 (Wednesday)
Time: 7:00 am
Venue: Shree Guest House
Kumaresh woke me up at 6:30 although i told him not to do so. He is such a jerk. Oops, he is a yr senior to me. sorry. Hope he aint reading this. Neway, i got up and "Holy sshhhhhhit" i forgot my brush. I rushed to a shop nearby and bought a colgate brush. Borrowed some toothpaste from Chandra (another uddu guy with us). Just after that "What the fuck!!" i forgot my comb too. Had a nice and cold bath and then only all my senses returned to their respective places.
These two guys were all ready for the exam. Wished them good-luck and they left. I was in the room alone. I tried to read but i couldnt concentrate. Everytime the only thought came to my mind was what if i couldnt make 1200 score. Monday and Tuesday i gave almost 6-7 practice tests and i could never get more than 1170. That was my standard, i knew it. Then also there was a lil hope that my luck might click just like it did in IIT screening test. Its altogether a different thing, ll come to that some other time. As i couldnt concentrate anymore, i closed all my notes and got prepared to go a temple nearby. I discovered it last night only.

.......To be continued

The Day before the TDS Show

Its 15 min past 4am and i m still awake. Reason being just returned from the TDS practice. i went out of my room at around 3 pm and its nearly after 13 hrs that i m returning.

Practice today was very hectic. Never danced like this before in my life. Continuosly dancing for 6 hrs and too in Romi's song which requires a lot of energy and vitality. All this is happening coz of my GRE date which fell just 2 days before the TDS-Zonasa show.Had i been to pratice regularly then i wouldnt have seen this day when i am screwing myself up.

Starting from 8 pm, i kept on dancing, in fact learning the steps. Now, i found out that its very difficult to pick up steps of others unless and untill u are very strong in memorizing steps. Unfortunately or otherwise, i am not good at memorizing all these things. I learned all the steps but the sequence of their occurence i got always confused with. And thats the only quality of a talented dancer. It implies that i m not one of the good dancers which i admit proudly. Jindagi mein dance karne ke alaawa bhi bahut kuch kaam hota hai.But anyway, as i have commited something, i have to deliver. In the process there may come many hurdles, and it is worth mentioning here that i am very good at 110 m hurdle race. Can jump them off in no time. Sorry.... getting out of track. So the practice continued for 6 continuos hrs without any break. I was totally fucked up man. Not even a single step i could afford to put forth after that. But there is a grand show tomorrow and to put up a decent show we need practice. In fact i needed more. People were insisting for a break and later 'pack up' order. But how can it be possible without doing a final run-through on the stage. So, the order went "everybody to toat...u ll get ur refreshments over there only"

Toat Run-throughs

Started each dance sequence and me with srinivas were there to criticize each and every song as and when they go out of course. Of course a good dance performance will obviously get an appreciation. 2nd song was mine 'chair dance'. Did the whole song almost correctly but i and only i knew where i fumbled a bit. Dont worry audience wont be able to catch it it. This sequence was quite good. Then came 2nd part and i love this song by Rishi Rich. So its natural that i ll not makhao in this part too. The third part was the most difficult one. Its not the steps which are difficult to pick but i devoted very less time in practicing it, almost less than 20 min. Was quite a bit nervous, but it also went ok kinda sort of thing.

The next song was the last one 'Romi's special'. I must mention here that this song requires the real tempo from u and its very tiring. Unfortunately, it's also composed of 3 songs. It was a total 5min 32 sec and we all thought we can manage that. The first part of the medley went good. Thanx heavens. So was 2nd. And by the end of the 2nd song, i was profusely palpitating but i continued and thought that it wud be the last song only. Everything will be peace after that. But while doing the 3rd song, i couldnt bear nemore and in the middle of the song i separated out and sat idly. Sorry thug (my colleague governor)........... ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

GRE series - II

......contd

Day: -1 (Tuesday)
Time: 1:30 pm
Venue: D-Top-West,Nehru Hall
After having the lunch, i was discussing with Nitesh and DamRao (urf Appa Rao) in my wing. Dam, as he had experience of GRE twice, was giving me fundas, which apparently i wasnt aware of. Nitesh was trying to console me that i ll score good in the final exam no matter what i was getting in the practice tests. I was in a horrible condition then. Never touched the score of 1200 which is the minimum for getting into any grad schools. So, in a way, i was frust.

Then came the question of going to cal and giving the test. Dam suggested me to go the same day when the exam was, thats wednesday morning. He did the same thing twice. So, its decided that i ll leave kgp on wednesday morning 5 am and by10:30 i wud be at my destination. As the matter settled down, i went back to muggai. After alll i m giving a respectable exam, not like our semester exams that a day before study would do the job.

As soon as i went to studies, i mind was somewhere else. What if the train in which i ll go tomm will be late, late by 5 hrs. What if there occurs and accident. What if the rain god feels happy and pours down all his tears. I would be lost in the big city Kolkata in the rain and it would be very difficult for me to find the examination center. No, i have to go now. Packed my bag in a hurry and put the required documents and bid goodbye to my wingmates.

Time: 3:20 pm
Venue: Kharagpur Railway Station
The howrah local was about to come at 1530 hrs. It took me some time to decipher what this time format means. Hadnt seen this for so many days. When i did it, i realized that in the next 10 min train wud be here. Rushed to the ticket counter and took one. Luckily i met some friends of mine who were going to cal too. 5 of us ran to the platform no 6. The train was standing there. It was about to leave. All of us got inside one of the boggies. Yukk!!! It was first local train journey. There were no seats to sit. We kept standing for an hr or so. As our legs were revolting us, we sat on the floor itself. I took out my frequent word list and mugged a bit. Finally, reached Kolkatta station at 6:15 pm, around 3 hrs of tiring journey it was.

time to go for a haircut.....will continue after that.....cya

.......to be continued

GRE series

This one and the following few blogs would be totally devoted to my experiences gained in giving out GRE exam. So it goes........

Day: -2 (monday)
Time: 9:17 pm
I was left with no money as TDS sucked every penny of mine. Hardly i was having a 100 note and some "chillars". But, God is always there to help us at the right time and right moment. I recalled that i have an atm which i made use of in the beginning of this sem. So, why to wait for?.....Although i had to fight to search the card in my tiny room, the next moment i was on my bike (cycle, in fact) and in 10 min i was in front of atm counter. Surprisingly there were no other people which meant no more queue. I got inside and inserted the card and typed the pin code in. and "what the fuck". The pin code was invalid. I tried again. Alas! The same result. Typed a different password and this time also it didnt worked. Aother try, and this time some thud sound came from the machine and some printed form was about to come. I was so very relieved that "My God, it happened finally". But wait, whats this. The printed paper reads "your acount is temporarily blocked due to excessive tries with wrong pin-code". The sudden reaction "Ooh Fuck!!!" What i gonaa do now? How can i go kolkatta with so little a money. The solution "Tension nahin lene ka, kal ka poora din baaki hai...dekha jayega"

Day: -1 (Tuesday)
Time: 10:35 am
I got up early. It was 10 to 9 am. So fresh i never realized. But i was in a haste. I got ready and went to meet a prof who ll give me reco if i think of applyin abroad. Luckily i found the prof in his cabin in which he normally isnt present. "aakhir BTech jo hai." I took his advice as to which colleges to apply. I had to give these details after the GRE exam. He gave me some palusible suggestions.
Next i rushed to the ATM again to try my luck. And this time there was a huge queue. And it was the scorching sun which was creating a lot of discomfort. I had no other choises left to stand and wait. Finally my turn came and i pushed the atm card. Last time i checked the password with my dad over phone. I entered the password with a hasitation. And....And it was a miracle. It was not even 24hrs and the blockage was removed so soon. That's SBI service. Pants off to it...Ahem i meant hats off.Got some quick money and left for room with a rush to mug a lil bit more.

The rest in the next bolg. I am feeling very sleepy and need a sound nap......Dont disturb me...bbye

IN SHORT

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DONT HAVE MUCH TIME TO WRITE STOP FACED MANY PROBLEMS IN THE LAST FEW HOURS STOP WILL JOT THEM DOWN AFTER COMING BACK STOP LEAVING FOR CAL TODAY ITSELF STOP HOPE THE EXAM WILL GO OUT OF MY EXPECTATIONS STOP AMEN
MASH
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[ 2 9 ] Hrs before the D-Day

Time is slipping out of my hand so fast and so rapidly that i am freaking out. Last day only, my exam was more than 50 hrs later but now looking at my watch, its not even 30 hrs left. This is one of the toughtest times i am going through. Never been so nervous about any exam in my life. But this, i dont know why, breaks down all my nervous system. Well-wishers adviced me to shift the exam if i am not that nicely prepared. This is the only thing that i have in my hand. But, i dont want it to be shifted. If i shift it to a month later or so, i know very well that my preparation is not going to improve a penny. Then also i ll sit with the same nervousness and same number of word lists which i have digested till now. So, i dont see any sort of benefits doing it. Rather, i ll be screwing up myself for a longer period. And i hate being screwed up.

Right now, i am going through whatever i can in a haste. Just having a look at all the words, never mind if i could memorize them or not. That i ll check during the exam. RC (Reading Comprehension) is the most difficult part in the exam. I mean how the hell could i know what an author means by writing a passage, when all the four answers seem correct to you. If i have some idea in my mind and i write something related to it which is not directly present in the passage, rather it is implied through the examples, even shakespeare couldnt guess what i meant by saying "...the monster gave the princess a smooch". This is ridiculous. Many times i think its the RC of CAT which is much more better than that of GRE, at least everything is there in the passage. One just has to go through it thoroughly. But here, first constraint you have got 30 min in hand and 30 questions to answer. Out of these, 3 RC is for sure. How can one think of even completing the whole questions, when RC takes extra time to read and to think in the way the author thinks. Anyhow, lets see how much can i attend in the war-front.

Now its time for muggai, will write few more tips/controversies later.

Darker side of IIT culture

Isnt it that the teachers should culture their students and try to bring forth their best part? But come to IIT kgp and just have a superficial view on its so called prestigious Gymkhana. It is totally governed by dictators and monsters. I dont think they are, in my weirdest dream, are professors or teachers. And add to that, the student representatives (G.Sec and V.P) have no work but to lick their shoes and clean every single dust which they gain due to their own virtue.

These people want G.C. in the Inter-IIT sports meet which is being held in IIT Chennai this time. But they dont understand that to reap something you have to invest at least the basic inputs.The PTIs take the total credit if his team wins medal at the inter-iit level. And why shouldnt they? After all they are the officially appointed trainers. But isnt it shameful on their part to boast of things that they dont do? The team in which i went inter-iit last year won silver medal due to its team effort, on-the-spot strategy making and dedication along with respect for other team members. The so called trainer didnt even come to the practices and neither did he, in any way, involved in any improvements in the player, only except those days when he escorts his daughter to the gym. I totally agree and fully dedicate that medal to the concerned PTI. But now if he boasts of last years performance and that its only him that the team won a place in mumai, then i am sorry to say, i have to take all my respects back. Its not only my or any single feeling, its a outburst of all the team members. The team is now broken up. Dont know, how in a period of two months, a new team gonna evolve with a winning attitude at inter-iit level. Anyway, i am getting out of the track.....

I never imagined that the politics played in the gymkhana would rise at such a fast pace. Though i have seen it last year, but it was a milder version of what is going on now-a-days. "The stronger and huge always dictates over the timid and small", thats the rule of the nature. But here in the gymkhana, something else is cooking up. The authorities incharge are so easily carried away as if they dont have any credentials left. Except the G.Secs and the V.P, any other student can go to them and make them change their decisions only for the sake of his hall. I mean i dont understand. When its the question of IIT then the love for the hall comes later. Same as the way we love our country first and then our state. But some people keep all their decency at stake, infact they go against the faith of friendship, and think so narrow-mindedly that will never produce a good sportsman in their hall neither can it do any help in improving the standards of their performance. Who stops you to excel and go ahead. But if you resort to dirty games and try to reduce your competitors performance by attacking pyscholocally, is it fair that they continue in any kind of sports. My answer: NO!!

Whenever i see politics, i just show it my back and walk away of the scene. But now i think i have to jump into the mud and get myself cleaned up with that dirty water. Only then you can fight with this filthy system of IIT. You recede back, you are gone out of the scene. You show attitude and determined that "i' ll fuck them all", you rise. That kind of philosophy works here very well. I'm too late in understanding it.

Lingo used here

There's a minor problem
Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya

There's a big problem
Arre yaar, "Jhol" ho gaya

There's a huge problem..(unsolvable)
Arre yaar, "Raada" ho Gaya

You'll be surprised
Ekdam "Hill" jayega tu

I am going out of this place
Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai

Don't make a fool of others
Dekh, tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko

Just get out of here, you oversmart fool!!
Chal e shane, "Hawa" aan de

I am not a stupid out here
Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya

There's some misunderstanding
Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi

Do u drink daily ?
Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai?

Shall I bash u ?
E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ?

Just take him into a secret place
Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja

What a beautiful lady !!
Kya "Zakaas Item/Maal" hai yaar!!

Don't just bluff
E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de..

Don't take much tension..
Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya ??

Your clothes are very awkward!!
Kya "ZAGMAG/DHINKCHAAK" pehna tune ?

I don't care about it much..!!
Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"

Please don't bore me...
Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu

All this must be done without anyone's notice
Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye...kya ?

Ephemeral Gush of a Nervous Mind

It is said that "given enough time, a chimpanzee at a typewriter can produce the works of Shakespeare"....So how many years would it take for one with Barron's 'How to prepare for GRE Test' to crack the exam with 10 on 10 score rather 1600 on 1600......even if i am well prepared (thats a sort of consolation for me), i am getting these thoughts that not even a single question ll come from those whatever i have read till now......Holy crap!!! i have got a lot to mug....will write later on....Best of luck buddy......just try to be composed and dont think of any kinda suicide methods to adopt......Jesus ll help you and save you from being crucified, if he has got a slightest amount of sympathy for you......have a nice weekend

96 hrs before the D-Day

Another four days left and i feel as if i am preparing myself for the final plunge into the unfathomable ocean, although i know that i am not that good at swimming.....damn thats the only thing i wanted to do after coming to IIT.....and its still a dream.....a sense of nervouseness is getting on my spine....never felt this before.....its exciting sometimes.....a question revolves round my head all the time...."what if my GRE doesnt go well? what after that?"......i know, for the answer i have to wait till 13th oct but i wanted to know the results beforehands.....thats the tendency of human nature....u always want to know the culprit before the suspence of the story starts......and once u get to know it, u dont like watching the movie or reading the whole novel then.....well, with the preparation what i have till now, i can predict the results right away......but then still there is hope that my luck might click on that day.....oooh fuck!!!.....the d-day is 13th....the unluckiest day of this world for everybody to do anything.....i m gonna screwed up now, guarantee with a money back assurance......only thing i can do is hope against all the odds .....Jesus!!! save me.....i ll not be atheist nemore if i get through this ordeal