Servicing Center Story

This weekend I had nothing better to do, so gave away my Ram-Pyaari for her first servicing. The servicing guys were creating a lot of problems as I was late in bringing her in. Late as in almost 15 days late. She had to be serviced within 30 days of sales. But, a little bit of fight with those guys made my work done. They adviced me to come back after 6 hours to take my Ram-pyaari back. I was like "WTF, you would literally fuck my darling for continuously 6 hours and you think I ll allow you to do that. You guys crazy or what?? How can you stand continuously for six hours?" Then only, they agreed to return her back in 3 hours, not less than that. So, I left my beloved with them with a warning that if anything happens to her, I ll not at all hesitate to screw their wives openly in front of them. I seriously need to watch out for the language that I use no-a-days. It's becoming more filthier day by day.

Soooo…3 hours !! Howwww to spendddd? There was a theatre nearby and Spiderman-3 afternoon show was about to start in 15 min. I had seen this movie just a few days back but still then, its better to divert my mind somewhere else and let my beloved get raped in the servicing center. I booked a ticket and to my utter surprise it cost me just Rs 70/-. I was like, are these people trying to screw their business up? Which theatre in Pune sells movie tickets in that price. But again, why to speak aloud unnecessarily when I was in a benefit. But this time the movie was somewhat different from what I saw last time. Yes, it was in Hindi. Aww man!! It was really awesome. You ll surely start comparing the dialogues that were there in English version with this Hindi one and am damn sure that you gonna enjoy it. Spiderman-3 review will also come in the forthcoming blogs.

Anyway, the movie consumed two and half hours and I was ready to take my lady back with me. And after the makeover in servicing center she looked even more beautiful. Finally thanked those guys for their great job and apologized for the misbehavior that I showed towards them earlier in the morning. She has been doing great after that nightmare - might not be for her, but it was certainly for me.

My First Bike

The first thing I did with the very first salary that I got from John Deere was buying a Pulsar 150 DTS-i.

The most difficult task after that was to name it. If you look at it standing in any parking area, you can easily figure out its slim body and its well structured contour that you will feel like kissing it at the very first sight. So, I gave a little bit of thought processing (which I rarely do) on its name and ended up giving it Pamela. Yes as in Pamela Anderson. Every morning I ride on her till my office though it’s for a very short duration, but it gives pleasure. While in the evening, I take the most advantage of her. Instead of taking the shortest path, I usually take the longer one so that I get a chance to ride for about half an hour.

But as time passed by, I was fed up of with the name Pamela mainly because it was western. Moreover, it sounded so erotic. For the second time, I gave a little bit of thought processing again (O boy!! Since when I began thinking), and came up with yet another amazing name for her - Ram-Pyaari. That was quite Indian and riding on an Indian lady is much more fun than on a western one. Most of the guys in my office were quite surprized by the name but then they also started loving her and call her respectfully with the name that I have given.

That reminds me of a proverb "Duniya ko peeche bhaagne ki aadat hai. Pehle thoda sa hichkichate hain, par thodi der baad fir nadi ke bahav ke saath ho lete hain". Did this proverb ever exist or I just made it up? Who cares. But facts are fact.

Elizabeth Town - 5/10

Movie time again and this time it was "Elizabeth Town". If you havent heard about it, lemme tell you that it has been nominated for 4 movie awards, but that too not for story, acting, screenplay or stuff. But for its songs. Nice songs I should say.
Actor - Orlando Bloom
Actress - Kirsten Dunst (she is cute especially her dimple on one cheek)
Villian - No-one
Comedian - Nobody

So, you can easily figure out that this is also a kinda love story. And yeah it is….Here are few tit-bits that I liked:

1. Orlando is a designer - a shoe designer to be specific, who had designed a shoe after wearing which people are preferring to go bare foot. Therefore, the managing director of the company calls him up to his cabin. The cabin doors are quite exaggerated. Two doors and each door cost is whooping $762,000. Its was a notion that if anybody is called in that room for a meeting, it was either or his promotion or otherwise. I liked the way this MD makes Orlando understand what a loss of $962,000,000 means. It goes like "You know it’s the money that a mid-size country runs for a year", "You see down there - the employees working, if I cut their salaries for one whole year, I wont be able to recover that money" and the best one "How can I make u understand what a $962million dollar is. If you round it off, it’s a billion dollor goddamnit"
2. The way Orlando finds a way to commit suicide. Totally innovative. Conjured a lot of engineering skill in that too. But hell!! He didn’t do it
3. Talking on the phone with Kirsten who happens to be an air-hostess for an entire night and meeting her up to see the sun rising in the morning. Nice romantic sequence.
4. Everything else in the movie is a heck….totally bullshit so much so that you can throw this DVD back on the director's face and I am sure he wont get much surprized.

Thats the reason, I would give this movie a rating of 5 out of 10. 5 because it gave me enough time to have a nap in between the movie and again catch up the whole story when i wake up after 30 mins

Anyway, its weekend time and lets see what action plan I have got. On Sunday, got to meet two friends of mine who are also staying in Pune - Girish and Naresh. Its not Girish why m meeting these guys, it’s the other guy. Havent seen Naresh after he left our school in 10th. And people say that he is more like a angrezi-babu : speaks, laughs, walks, eats in english. Had a telephonic conversation with him and was quite fun pulling his leg. Lets do it hard and this time face to face. Good luck Nareshda, here I come.

The ages old story of a crow

Whenever I hear something starting with the phrase "Once upon a time….", it reminds me of only one story - the story of a crow. If you havent heard it before, rewind your memory back to say 20-30 years back and I am sure you will get it right. For those who have got a memory loss problem like me, here it is. A crow decided to fly to California to meet his lady love that too from mumbai. On his way to destination, he felt very thirsty. And unfortunately he was directly above the sahara desert (or take any goddamn desert in Africa). So, he found a well which was totally empty and just nearby there was a earthen pot almost empty. Few drops of water were still remaining in that pot. So, he got an idea and started collecting stones. He put them one by one into the pot and because of Archimedes Principle all the stones sank and the water thus displaced came to the top. He drank those drops and moved ahead towards California to live a happy life with his beloved forever. And its not yet over, there is a moral yet to come at the end of every story.
Moral: "Be patient and work hard, then only you can succeed"

That was the story and it has got a hell lot of versions which my aunt, my aunt's sister, my father's brother's wife, my bog cousins and god-knows-who-didn’t used to tell me when I was what - four years old.

But now when I evaluate this story, I think what the hell people thought of me. Were they considering me a total fool or what?

1. Just to name a few technical flaws in this story:
   What the hell was the crow thinking. Why didn’t he took the way which goes over pacific ocean i.e. by the east of india which would rather be much shorter path and there would be full of water & islands throughout his way.
2. When he put stones in the pot, instead of making the water level rise, the particles over the stone would have absorbed those drops of existing water and in no case, the level can come up. At the end, what the crow would have found is a pot full of stones and nothing else.
3. The moral that was told to me was a total bullshit. My new moral: "Never do what the crow did in this situation. Get a straw from somewhere (if he can find stones in a desert full of sands why cant he find a straw) and suck till the last drop of water makes your throat wet."

- "Following the ways to do things that world does, brings you no identification. Always look out for your own, different and better ways." - MAsh

Click & You got it !

There are two types of movie genres that I am aware of and I categorize all the movies into:
1. Romantic
2. Non-romantic

Recently saw a movie called "Click" and was quite confused where to put it। Ben Stiller - one of my favourite comedy actor plays the role of an architecture who keeps himself so much buried in his work that he totally ignores his family - wife, children and parents. Suddenly he gets a universal remote control from a store that can fast forward his life moments, can mute all the arguments that he used to have with his wife, can increase the volume of gossips that goes nearby him which are normally don’t audible to bare ears, can even make his intimate love making process complete in 1 min ( huh! Just one min!! Cant believe that there are people who are so engaged in work that they just want to get over it as quickly as possible). In short, wherever he points his remote to and clicks, everything happens in the way he likes. There are some few tit-bits where you can literally watch tits bouncings in slow motion. Thanks to the remote. Wish I had one!! Anyway, like in all hindi movie trends, the climax is one helluva happy ending and you think why the hell did I waste my one and half hours which I could have invested in a fancy day dreaming and could have got much better things in return.

And by the way, I did finally complete Gadfather-I though it took me four sessions। But in the end mission accomplished। Godfather-II has already been started and its my 6th or 7th session and I am not even 20% complete. Lets see how long does this one take. Got another DVD of perfect murder & basic instinct-II which are in next queue.

"Always think what you can do for others and never expect anything in return. Thats the only funda behind being happy." - MAsh

Updates till now

Well, its been quite a while that I have posted anything on this space. Lets see I ll try my best to update it as much as possible. I cross my heart and swear to death that i ll keep on writing no matter what it takes. Though I have taken this oath zillion number of times. Screw me and then only I'll get on track.

To begin with lets start at where I left. That was way back in Feb 2007 when I left my previous company Escorts Limited. One can easily find a blog regarding resignation just a few articles below. So, after that a lot of things have happened in my life which have completely changed me.

Good Bye Faridabad: Last few days at Escorts were hurting me the most. Not because of the shivering cold weather but the warmness that my friends showed towards me. Every now and then there used to be a farewell party where I had to stop my tears to come out. Afterall, maintaining a rock-hard-heart image requires a lot of emotionless feelings. Anyway, left Faridabad on 15th Feb without even meeting with the friends that I made in the last 1.5 yrs. On my way to Bhubs, I called each and everyone of them to say a warm good-bye

Bhubaneswar: My plan was to go to Pune directly after leaving Escorts. That’s why I gave John Deere HR a joining date of 19th Feb. But, later on I dropped the idea of joining the new company and instead came to Bhubs. Called up the HR personnel and gave a vague reason of joining the company a week later. Felt so good to come to my homeland after six months or so. But this time I had very strong reason to come. Family had never been my weakness as they are always with me in whatever I do and where ever I go. Actually I found the lady I love from the bottom of my heart since I was a child and this was the only chance to meet her after 8 years and at least gave her some hints if not anything. I know this was not the perfect time to say those three words and I had only a few days with me. Saying nothing is always better than saying everything in a hurry and a haphazard manner. Met with her two times and got to know her better. The more I got to know about her, my love towards her increased. Independent, frank, totally open to anything that comes, serious when time requires, career oriented, just to name some, were the things that I liked in her the most. God knows what happened to me. Just a few years back when I was in college, I was not at all attracted to any of those hot babes. In fact, everytime our gang used to go to the canteen, all the girls sitting nearby cleared up the space or just left the canteen. But now, I can clearly understand why that kind of thing used to happen. My mind and heart was preoccupied with this lady that I never wanted to know or get closer to anybody else. Scolded god a lot when I had to leave Bhubs for Pune at the end of the week. It was just for 5 days of stay and I felt that I had lived ages in those days.

Pune: New city, new company, new work, new surroundings, and a lot of new friends to make. Joined office the very next day I reached Pune and I was totally amazed by the office building. Never in my life I had seen a manufacturing company looking like this. Even before joining, my workstation was all set, email id created, project alloted, what else can I expect from a new company. Made some really good friends in the smoking zone area. One of them turned out to be from Orissa and invited me to stay with a room near him. Well that was kinda unexpected!! I didn’t even have to roam around with a broker and pay him a hefty amount to get a house. Was just lucky enough, what more can I say. Fortunately, this guy - Dibya Prakash Jena, was quite a good cook. I had to learn cooking badly as my love didn’t know much about cooking. At least this way, I can help her out, no matter how small it is. But two months later, Dibya came out with flying colors of being the best non-veg cook that I have seen in my life and I came out to be the best supporting cook who cuts potatoes, tomatoes, onions and stuffs. That was my limited area and if at all by mistake I touch the hot cooking food, it becomes uneatable. And then again, my life took a U-turn. Things I always hated to do were happing in my life. The engineers in USA were quite happy with the ideas that I showed them and they wanted me to come over there and work for them. As its very difficult to get a work permit for me, 6 months in a year I will be in US and the rest 6 in India. That was the deal that my boss told me. I never wanted to go to US and work for another country's benefit. But work is work. I tried all my tricks on my boss so that he wont send me to US. The last trick was about the philosophy of my boss of not approving a single leave. So, I told him that I want to go home for a week before going to US otherwise I'll not be moving my ass there. Surprisingly, he said yes. I didn’t have anything else to say but to go. Lets see how it turns out.

All in all, whatever happened till now in the last couple of months have been good for me. Although I don’t believe in god, but sometimes I wish I can.

Movie Time

Sundays are the only when i got to watch movies after a 6 long hectic days of work.

The first matinee show was from 3-6pm.
Movie: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Starcast:
- Robert Downey
- Van Kimer
- Michelle Monaghan
Plot: Murder mystery

Frankly speaking, the movie sucked bigtime. Bought the movie to see if there is any scenes, u know what scenes m talking about. The name of the movie is given in such a manner that it diverts you from what u were expecting from the movie. Searched the whole movie for around 2 hrs and got nothing more than just a single nipple slip humour.

The second one started at 9pm.
Movie: Godfather
Starcast:
- Marlon Brando
- Al Pacino
- Didnt give a damn who else was there

I tried to see this movie three times before when i was in college. But i felt asleep just after 15-20 min of the start. This time it was different because we rented the hindi dubbed version to watch the movie till the end. But again the same thing happened. After 30 min i lost patience to watch all the three CDs. Yes!! it was got a goddamn three cds which would easily consume 3 precious hours. So, cutting the crap going on in the dvd player, we preferred to watch MTV instead. That was all about it. Dont know how people consider this movie to be the best one ever made in the cinema industry. All bullshit

Before & After Resignation

Sometimes you feel so lazy that you have nothing better to do than blogging. Yes and thats what is happening exactly with me right now.

Before resigning, I was stuck to the followings:

1. Work, drink and sleep in the office if it asks for
   
2. Romance comes later
3. No time for net surfing hence blogging literally is a dream
4. Chatting with friends on gtalk is a rare thing to happen
5. Listen to boss and nod your head to all his directions
6. You reach your room so late, as late as 9 pm, that you miss all the daily soap operas that you are addicted to
7. As soon as you finish your dinner, your eyes will automatically get closed
8. You wake up late in the morning and without getting even a bath (talking about winter days in Delhi) head towards your office
   
9. You attend your office at 9:30 am in the morning when its usual timing starts from 8:30 and get a frosty nosed look by your boss daily
10. You get only Saturday evening and whole sunday for entertainment and enjoyment but you feel so exhausted that you will sleep all day and night on your bed rather than roaming in the malls and having some bird watch
    
11. Last but not the least, you life is totally fucked up

After resignation, the following takes place:

1. Romance comes in the 1st place of your priority list
2. Suddenly you become so very much in demand that you are put through all kind of emotional sentiments and bargaining in your salary by your boss
3. But you reject everything only because you were searching for such a instance to fuck all of them really hard
   
4. You are no more worried about the work you do in this transition phase as you are not bothered about anything going wrong
   
5. Nobody has got any rights to speak to you in a way he used to, not even your boss thinking that you might embarass him in front of everybody
6. You go home early viz as soon as 6 pm
7. You enjoy all the daily soaps and watch all the crappy boring stuffs on TV
8. Suddenly TV plays an important role in your life without which you might think of your life to be doomed
9. You have a relaxed night and a very good sleep everyday
10. As a result you wake up early in the morning and watch MTV roadies @7am
11. You reach office doors right on time and your boss gets amazed to see you so early
12. You want to have parties everyday but you are let down because all your friends are going through the previously mentioned state
13. Last but not the least, Life seems so wonderful to you all of a sudden

But this will not last for a long time. Just one month seems so very less.

DhoooOOM Dwitiya

DHOOM II - ***1/2

Movie was all in all good but not excellent enough.
1st star is for all the stealing sequences which were mind boggling.
2nd star is for Hritik's acting skills which have certainly improved a lot from what he did in Main Prem ki Deewani hoon (which as a matter of fact was a horrible movie with the same star cast minus aish).
3rd star is for all the stunt scenes that are above the imagination of indian cinema although they are somewhat death defying but still then you will enjoy a lot watching them being performed by Indian actors.
Another 1/2 for Bipasha in her bikinis....muuuah...she looks as stunning as always

One will surely enjoy the movie if he doesnt apply his mind on whats going on. Just sit back, have a popcorn pack and just watch it.
Songs are well made as expected from Pritam but he can do much better than this.

1. Dhoom title track: with heart throbbing dance performance by Mr. A (hritik). Sounds kool too
2. Dont touch me: Average song with Abhishek, uday and bipasha
3. Crazy kiya re: Most popular song of the movie performed by Aish
4. My name is Ali: Bipasha and Uday again....this song really sucks although sung by Sonu nigam
5. Dil Laga: Everybody is in here...the last song of the movie

The action sequences are so to say crazy enough. If you apply a little amount of logic, everytime you ll ask the same question "How is this possible?". Sequences are although stolen from holyywood movies yet looks better than Koi Mil Gaya.
There is a special appearance of Rimi Sen also who is the wife of Abhishek in the original movie. While she looked pretty and sexy in that movie, here she is shown as a pregnant woman who is carrying the wrong deeds of her husband Abhishek.
Looking at uday for a sec will spoil all your excitement. He is as horrible as he always is. Starting from his dialogue delivery to expressions. Never was a time when his expressions had changed in the entire movie. Its the same when he is happy, its the same when he is fighting with the villains, its the same when he is wooing Bipasha
Bipashaaaa.......She is damn good. Especially when she comes in a bikini. Everything related to her was perfect. Her figure, her two-piece color combination, her accent, her style, her change in styles as a Rhio resident and an Indian police officer, her kuchi-puchi dialogues (thats exactly how she wishes her sweet home). Big fans of aish can also forget her and hook their eyes on bipasha for those moments. Although she didnt get much of a scope amongst all other big-star cast but she did made her presence felt.
There were rumours before the release of the movie that Aish can be seen in a two-piece bikini but that time never came and i was convincing myself by the fact that the movie has been censored and the aforesaid scene has been cut. After all nobody can afford to show Aish in bikinis for a 60 rupees ticket.

Abhishek must have felt fire in his ass when her soon-to-be-wife (as propagated by the media and news channels) was passionately kissed by his competitor Hritik. The next day newspaper published Abhishek's statement on who performed well in the movie dhoom and his answer was "I think Uday has performed great. As far as Hritik is concerned who am i to comment." Tough luck chote B

DHOOM-II : Prelude

Dhoom II was released this Friday and watching it was a very tough job. One because none of the multiplexes launched it and two, the theatre it was screened at was so difficult to find that we wasted more than 1 hr to find it.

In faridabad, after the introduction of PVR chain, everybody totally erased the names of the film theatres and the funda of Balcony and AC-box from their minds. The people staying here have got their pockets stuffed with money. Be it buying a property worth not less than 75 lakhs or new car not smaller than Honda city every alternate year, they are at the top. Due to some controversy between the multiplex owners and the distributors of the movie, it was decided to go for launching it in smaller theatres and if the movie goes hit then the distributors will charge more money from the multiplexes. Thats the funda i could make out for now. Moreover Yash Raj is too very confident that the movie will certainly be a hit.

So, there is this theatre called Satya Palace in Faridabad and god knows where it was. Me with my friend Ranaware (aka the maratha), were discussing and blaming all the multiplexes and decided to go for the movie in the local theatre for the evening show 6-9 pm. For this, we had to leave our house by 4 or so to find the place where it was. Had our matinee show of Bas Ek Pal and he was watching the match while i fell asleep. At around 7 pm, Ranaware woke me up and said "chal saale madrjaat, movie nahin dekhni".
I was like "what movie, abhi to dekhi humne"
"Abbe Dhoom.....subah to baat kiye the"
"Well yeah, but i guess we werent serious dude."
"bhak sala, ab nautankibaazi band kar...saala sau aalsi mare honge fir unhi ki g**nd se tu pada hua hoga...Ab Uth"
It took me a lot of effort to stand up. It feels great now-a-days to sleep with the cozy blanket in this winter season and yesterday was when the lowest temperature (9 degrees C) recorded. Put some clothes on and grabbed a bike.
Boy!! it was some chillness outside. My tooth were creating all sorts of noises while colliding with each other. My legs were pressed hard with the fuel tank of the bike to make it stable. And Ranaware sitting in the back, was the happiest man at that moment. He always feels happy and laughs aloud when his friends are in trouble. But he was embracing me and making me feel awkward. I mean its okay if a girl is sitting in the back seat with her hands around you. But when its a man, it just gets out of your mind when you see ppl driving around you are staring both of you with a crooked look. We were asking all the pedestrians where we might find Satya palace. Somebody told that its in YMCA, god knows what it is.

We again asked a pan-waala where can we find YMCA, and he told go straight, turn to your left and after a couple of streets turn to your right, there you can find Satya Palace. Hell!!! How did he know that we were searching for the theatre. He said that he has been doing this for the last two days and its not a surprise that you are also searching for the same. Go and enjoy the movie.

Finally we reached it. Its been ages that i have been to such a place before. I mean Bhubaneswar has got lot better screens and well decorated local theatres although there are no multiplexes there. We reached there by 8:30 and the show was at 9pm. Lucky to be just in time!!

Ranaware stood in the queque for the ticket while i was parking the bike. When he came back he showed me the ticket. I dont know from what angle it was looking like a ticket. It was just a piece of plain paper

_________________
night show
2 seats Balcony
Rs 120/-
_________________

yeah!! that was it....I was literally shocked " abbe 60 rupaye ki ticket? AC bhi hai kya yahan?" "Dont know yaar...just hope that it has got cushioned seats"
We were waiting for the show when we saw the posters of the movie on the wall. It said:
" Bambai se seedha prasaran ki jayegi. Power katne mein bhi film chalti rahegi"

Ranware was like "WTF!! yahan power bhi jaati hai" "koi nahin dost!! ab aa gaye hain to dekh ke hi jayenge chaahe kuch bhi ho jaaye"

The minute hand struck 12 and bingo!! 9pm....Time for the show....and we went inside..